


Of Ties that Bind and Words that Wound

by Vox_Panica_48



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anakin is about as subtle as a nuclear warhead, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Dai Bendu (Star Wars), Emotional Hurt, Emotional Roller Coaster, Hurt No Comfort, My Beta Cried when They Read It, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Other, Platonic Obikin, Platonic Soulmates, i think i got everything but if i didn't tell me in the comments, tagging is my worst nightmare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29194539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vox_Panica_48/pseuds/Vox_Panica_48
Summary: Star Wars Soulmate Month 2021: Day 7 Whatever is written on your skin shows on your soulmate’s skinAnkai'a (Dai Bendu): darling, soulmate, heartsongEvery Jedi youngling has heard stories of the Jedi of old, Jedi who fought side by side with their Ankai'a and rattled the stars. Every Jedi youngling dreams of meeting their Ankai'a. For an Ankai'a is not just a person with whom you can share your life. An Ankai'a is a promise. An Ankai'a is saying "You and I are one. The Force wanted us to be together. You were meant to be by my side." At 21, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi has long given up on such hopes. He has never seen the writing on his skin that tells him his Ankai'a is out there. Until he does. And everything changes.Obi-Wan Kenobi has someone to live for.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 21
Kudos: 28
Collections: Star Wars Soulmate Month 2021





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It is I, Vox, your humble host. Welcome to my fever dream of a fic. I honestly didn't mean for it to be this long, I fully intended to write a one-shot. I sat down at my computer and next thing I knew, I was staring at this monster. I was told that there was no maximum word count. Apparently, I took this as a challenge. It took me 5.3k for them to meet. I don’t write short things. I am so so sorry. Enjoy!
> 
> Quick housekeeping before we begin! A big shoutout to @bigbidumbass for agreeing to be my beta reader. Their comments were invaluable and let me know that this fic had the desired effect. I cannot thank you enough. 
> 
> I also employ the Jedi conlang, Dai Bendu, liberally in this fic. Dai Bendu was created by @loosingletters, @aroacejoot, and @ghostwriterofthemachine. If you are interested, here is a link to the Dai Bendu Tumblr: 
> 
> https://dai-bendu-conlang.tumblr.com/
> 
> I am absolutely obsessed with them and all the work they put in. Please please go give them some love! 
> 
> There also used to be 10 chapters but I deleted chapter 5 after a few comments from people I trust. They told me it interrupted the flow and didn't make sense, which I agreed with. Fear now, you will not be missing anything as it legitimately had nothing to do with the plot and was purely self serving. 
> 
> Alright, you've put up with my rambles enough. Onto the fic! Enjoy! <3 Thanks for stopping by
> 
> OH WAIT ONE MORE THING: Words in italics are, unless otherwise specified, written on Obi-Wan's skin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 21 when the markings first appear on his skin.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 21 when the markings first appear on his skin. 

They appear on the back of his left hand, slowly inching out what looks like a word. The script is messy, barely legible even as it takes up the entirety of his hand. Some of the letters are switched around. It looks like the writing of a child. Obi-Wan has never seen this writing before. He goes to his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Or rather, he waits. Master Jinn, he is told outside the Council chambers, is in a briefing right now. 

“Go back to your chambers, Padawan Kenobi. I will let Master Jinn know that you asked after him.”

Obi-Wan nods and bows, retreating. He knows Qui-Gon, though, and figures that he might as well go to the Archives to do some research of his own in the meantime. Madame Jocasta Nu greets him as he enters. 

“Padawan Kenobi, welcome. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yes, thank you, Madame Jocasta. About ten minutes ago, these markings appeared on the back of my hand. I think it is writing, because it looks like Aurabesh, but… odd.” As Madame Jocasta places her cold hand around his to take a look, Obi-Wan jumps slightly. 

“Hmmm. I’ve never seen anything like this. But…. follow me, I believe I know what this might be.” Seeing the worried look on the younger man’s face, she smiles softly. “Don’t worry, if I am correct, this is a beautiful thing.”

Madame Jocasta leads Obi-Wan through the long stacks of the Jedi Archives, slowing as she runs her fingers along a shelf, stopping when she finds what she is looking for. She grabs it off the shelf and motions for Obi-Wan to follow. Obediently, Obi-Wan trails Madame Jocasta, sure that he looks like a lost Loth Cat. She leads him to one of the research stations and sits, gesturing for him to follow suit. 

“This is an ancient Jedi text on soulmates.” At seeing his confused expression, she laughs. “This is merely a theory, Padawan Kenobi. If I am correct, then you may have a soulmate. If I am incorrect, then you will need to go to medical for spontaneous writing on your hand. It would be interesting to see a report on one day. Now, let’s take a look at your word problem, shall we?”  
  


Obi-Wan nods, silently hoping that he will get answers from the older librarian. He likes Master Jinn as a teacher just fine, but he is rather rough and often tired after meetings with the Council. He would prefer not to bother his master. He leans in closer to the librarian. 

“Alright. Let me read what it says: 

_Jedi Ankai’a1 _ _are a rare occurrence. The Jedi creed in its nature believes that attachment leads to a pull to the dark side. However, I believe attachment is something to be encouraged. They teach compassion and the most important skill: letting go of that attachment and allowing the other person to grow. Most people who are not force sensitive have an Ankai'a, whether they find that person is another matter entirely. The Jedi Ankai’a are rare, as I mentioned previously. However, when they occur, the Force tends to intervene. This intervention often occurs in the form of words spontaneously appearing on the skin of one of the pair. Through research done into this occurrence, I have concluded that the words are written by one half of the soulmate pair. This is to enable the Force user to find their soulmate as quickly as possible. The Jedi partner will then be able to protect their soulmate. Oftentimes, the Jedi becomes stronger in the presence of their Ankai’a. The bond between them is to be encouraged and nurtured._ ”

Jocasta looks at the young Padawan, who seems to be in shock. As she places her hand on his shoulder, Obi-Wan startles a bit. 

“Well, Obi-Wan. It appears that you have a soulmate.”

Obi-Wan walks back to his room in a haze. He cannot stop looking at the message on his hand in awe. Almost reverently, he runs his fingers over the word, scared it will disappear. A soulmate. Someone who makes him STRONGER. Someone who could love him. Someone he could love and have it be accepted by the Council because it could lead to his Fall if they forced the two apart. It’s almost too good to be true. Obi-Wan had loved before, hell, he’d left the order a few times to help people he loved. But he always came back. This meant… _force_ , this meant he could have both love and the Order. 

Qui-Gon is waiting in their shared chambers when he arrives. 

“You wanted to talk, Obi-Wan?”

“Yes, Master. Earlier today, I felt a warm sensation on my hand. When I looked, this word appeared. I went to Madame Jocasta to see if there was something in her archives and she told me that it was a signal of an _Ankai’a_.”

“An _Ankai’a_? Jedi don’t get soulmates.”

  
  
“Apparently they do, and I am the proof. I think mine is young. These do not look like the words of a child much older than 6. That would put us at almost a 16 year age difference.”

Obi-Wan extends his hand to his master, who looks critically at the markings. Qui-Gon rubs a hand over his beard and sighs.

“Be mindful of your feelings, Obi-Wan. You are still a Jedi. If the Force wills it, you will find your soulmate. For now, let us meditate.”

“Yes, Master.”

As Obi-Wan settles into position next to his master, he cannot help but let his mind wander to the words on his skin. _Later_. That message could have come from anywhere in the galaxy. Feeling Qui-Gon’s eyes upon him, he refocuses and sinks into a meditative state. When he comes out of it, the word is gone, as if it was never even there. He didn’t even notice the cold feeling that filled his being as the word faded.

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 21 when he writes words of his own. 

It has been a few months, long enough for more messages to appear. The script gets better and better as the messages appear, but are never anything more than a few words. _Couplings, generator, Shmi, connector, goggles._ When the word “Shmi” appears, Obi-Wan recognizes it as a name and searches urgently through the databases of the Republic for a match. There are none. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi writes his first message to his soulmate in a neat blue script. _Hello_ . He waits. He is sitting in the Room of 1,000 Fountains, waiting for his creche mates, Quinlan and Bant. Several minutes pass and then slowly, a word appears under his own, accompanied by a pleasant warmth under his skin. _Hi._ Obi-Wan just stares. He got a reply. His soulmate is technically talking to him! Obi-Wan feels a grin stretching across his face. His heartbeat pounds in his ears, a steady rhythmic drumming that seems to sing with joy. Before Obi-Wan can respond, Bant and Quinlan arrive. They challenge him to a race through the Temple’s training course. He laughs and agrees, racing after them as they sprint away. Thoughts of his soulmate leave his mind for the time being. 

When he gets back to his room, he makes sure Qui-Gon is asleep before trying again. _My name is Obi-Wan_. 

There is no reply. 

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 22 when he learns the name of his soulmate. 

It has been a few months since Obi-Wan told the person on the other side of the soul bond his name. He had almost forgotten that he had disclosed his name. Not really, though. Obi-Wan could not forget that he had this bond. 

The words are small, so small he can barely see them. It’s almost as if the person on the other side is trying to hide the words. _My name is Anakin._

Anakin. His soulmate’s name is Anakin. 

“Anakin.” He says it out loud. It feels **_right_**. 

_Hello, Anakin. It’s a pleasure to meet you._

He cannot keep the name out of his head. There is no reply but that does not stop him from skipping everywhere that day. He tells Qui-Gon, who arranges for him to meet with Master Yoda. They have not told the Council that Obi-Wan has a soulmate. Obi-Wan had a sneaking suspicion that Qui-Gon didn’t really believe it when Obi-Wan told him, but now he has to. Everyone has to believe him. He has a _name_. 

That evening, as the sun of Coruscant sets in a beautiful display of color, Obi-Wan finds himself in Master Yoda’s company. Yoda sits cross legged in the Meditation Chapel, not even opening his eyes as Obi-Wan enters. 

“Greetings, Padawan Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan bows out of habit, a trait drilled into him. “Hello, Master. I take it Master Jinn told you about my… er- experience?”

“He did. Intrigued by this, I am. Know more, do you?”

“Today I found out a name. Anakin.” Just saying the name sends a jolt of warmth through his system. 

“A soulmate you seem to have, Padawan. Meditate on this, we must.” 

Obi-Wan takes a seat next to the Master and lowers his guard. He feels the old master’s presence nudging his mind and he reciprocates. Together, they sit in silence, trying to find Obi-Wan’s soulmate. 

There is nothing. A spike of anxiety fills Obi-Wan before he takes a deep calming breath. He feels Yoda’s soothing presence and relaxes. 

“Want him to be found, the Force does not. Soon. Patience, Obi-Wan. Find your _Ankai’a_ , you will.”

“Yes, Master.”

The words of the ancient master reassures Obi-Wan. All he has to do is trust in the Force. For the next three years, he and Anakin exchange small messages, little reminders of each other's existence. Every time he feels the burning under his skin, his heart flutters in joy. 

  
  


* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 23 when Anakin writes that he is a podracer and that he has a big race the next day. 

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 24 when Anakin tells him he is building a protocol droid to help his mother.

* * *

  1. In case you already forgot what _Ankai'a_ means: darling, soulmate, heartsong [ ▲ ]




	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when he learns where his soulmate is.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when he learns where his soulmate is. 

After a peaceful mission gone sour, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon find themselves on the run from the Trade Federation. This was not of their own volition. They had been tasked with protecting the Queen of Naboo and her entourage. Thus, they were fleeing from a hostile environment. Obi-Wan cannot help but admire the young queen and her handmaidens. Despite everything they have been through, the queen remains hopeful. 

Then the hyperdrive breaks. They are forced to enter a system controlled by the Hutt clans; specifically, an Outer Rim planet called Tatooine. As they descend towards the surface, Obi-Wan surveys the tan, sandy landscape with skepticism. Obi-Wan had heard stories of the savagery of the planet’s environment, with its inhabitants not being much better. He hopes they will only be here for a few hours. After they land, Obi-Wan pulls the hyperdrive out the floor and inspects it. He sighs, then turns, hearing the door open. Qui-Gon steps through and raises a questioning eyebrow. 

“The Hyperdrive generator is gone. We will need a new one.”

Qui-Gon nods and leans close to Obi-Wan, whispering, “Don't let them send any transmissions. Be wary… I sense a disturbance in the Force.” 

“I feel it also, Master.”

With that, Qui-Gon is gone. 

As Obi-Wan struggles with the hyperdrive, he receives a message from Anakin. The now familiar warmth burns under Obi-Wan’s skin. He pulls back his sleeve and looks. 

_There are strangers in town today._ It lingers for a moment. Then on the other side of his arm he feels it again. _I think one of them is a Jedi_. 

Those eight words cause Obi-Wan’s heart to skip a beat. A Jedi. Could it be… maybe Anakin is here. Obi-Wan vaults towards the door, stopping momentarily to wipe his hands of the oil from the hyperdrive on a spare rag. He speedwalks past Captain Panaka and a few of the handmaidens, heading for his chambers. He knows he’s stashed a pen in there. He always has one, so he can let Anakin know that he is doing okay. He raids his bag, searching desperately through the pockets until he finds the same blue pen he has been using since the messages started, four years ago. 

He sinks softly to the floor, bracing his back against the bed. Neither of them had asked much about each other's personal lives in those four years Obi-Wan realized. Not for lack of interest, it just... never came up. He could ask. What harm would it do to ask? Maybe the boy was on a different planet. But he could be on Tatooine. And that… that would mean… that would mean he might be a slave. 

White hot anger and fear flashes through Obi-Wan at the thought. He quells it quickly, breathing deeply. _Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering_ , he recites, echoing the words of Yoda as a mantra and an anchor. Maybe he's not here. But Obi-Wan has to know. So he writes. 

_Are you on Tatooine?_ He waits, holding his breath. 

_Yes._

Obi-Wan can’t breathe. His soulmate, the person he is meant to meet, is trapped on Tatooine. His head swims. _He’s here. He’s so_ **_CLOSE_ **. Obi-Wan’s head thuds gently on the bed as he processes this information. He should contact Qui-Gon. Just as he’s pulling out his comm, there is a knock on his door. 

“Master Jedi? The queen would like a word.”

Contacting Qui-Gon will have to wait. He gets up, rolls down his sleeves, making sure the words cannot be seen, and exits his room. 

“Lead the way.”

* * *

The queen wishes to discuss safety measures and the likelihood of an incident on the planet. Obi-Wan is no expert, but he thinks the likelihood of something happening is fairly high. Qui-Gon has a tendency to get into trouble, something he and Obi-Wan inherited from the rest of their lineage. But he doesn’t tell the queen that. As he exits, his comm beeps. 

“I found a replacement hyperdrive, but it costs more than I have, and the vendor doesn’t accept Republic credits. I tried to will him to help us, but he’s Toydarian.”

“I’m sure your attempt to compel him helped your case, Master.”

Ignoring that quip, Qui-Gon presses on. “I need you to search the ship and see if there is anything of value. Call me back when you’re done.”

“Yes Master… Mas–” Qui-Gon closes the channel and Obi-Wan lets his hand fall to his side. 

He stands there for a moment and then goes back into the chamber to speak with the queen to get her permission to search the ship. After he explains the situation, the queen allows him to look into all of the crates and supplies that they have aboard. He finds nothing of value and dutifully comms Qui-Gon again. 

“Obi-Wan, you're sure there isn't anything of value left on board?”

“A few containers of supplies, the queen's wardrobe, maybe. Not enough for you to barter with. Not in the amounts you're talking about.” 

“All right. Another solution will present itself. I'll check back.”

“Ma–”

Qui-Gon closes the channel. Obi-Wan sighs. Rubbing the back of his neck, he meanders through the ship until he comes to the hyperdrive again. He sits down and begins to tinker with it once more, pretending his soulmate doesn't exist. Because surely that is easier than thinking about what Anakin might have endured as a slave. He has heard stories about the slavers. What they do to children. He stays in that chamber, forcibly repressing the dark thoughts that make his blood boil. He stays in that chamber, focusing on keeping calm. He stays in that chamber until he notices Captain Panaka standing behind him. 

“Yes? What is it, Captain?”

“Sorry to disturb you, Master Jedi, but the ship is detecting a storm incoming.”

“Oh, that’s not good. I’ll take a look.”

Panaka nods and steps to the side as Obi-Wan walks towards the ship’s ramp. The harsh glare of the Tatooine suns beats down on him and he squints, raising a hand to shield his eyes. His soulmate lives on this dump. _No_ , he shakes his head. _Focus, remember your training. Focus on the here and now._ He looks around, then sees why Captain Panaka was so concerned. It is a massive sandstorm, gathering speed, heading in their direction and beyond, towards Mos Eisley. Captain Panaka joins him. 

“This storm's going to slow them down.”

Panaka nods, worry clearly shining in his eye. “It looks pretty bad. We'd better seal the ship.”

Obi-Wan nods his agreement and then hears the beep of a comm. Panaka pulls his out of its holster and answers.

“Yes? We'll be right there.”

Putting the comm away, he looks at Obi-Wan, the worry clearer now. 

“We have received a message from Naboo. It’s bad.”

Thoughts leaving Anakin, Obi-Wan nods and follows the captain. He leads Obi-Wan to the queen’s council chamber, where she holds court aboard the sleek Nubian ship. 

“We have received a message from Sio Bibble, Master Jedi.”

Obi-Wan observes the hologram of Sio Bibble with a cool and calculating expression. His face betrays nothing of his true thoughts. The hologram flickers in and out with the audio following suit. 

“...cut off all food supplies until you return...the death toll is catastrophic...we must bow to their wishes, Your Highness...Please tell us what to do! If you can hear us, Your Highness, you must contact me…”

Obi-Wan glances at the queen and sees a deep anxiety resting across her features. 

“It's a trick. Send no reply... Send no transmission of any kind. I will consult my master.” 

Once Queen Amidala nods her assent, Obi-Wan bows and retreats to the cockpit. He pulls out his comm and fiddles with it for a moment before pressing the button to initiate communication. 

“What is it, Obi-Wan?”

“We have received a transmission, Master. It was from Sio Bibble describing the situation on Naboo. Apparently, the Trade Federation is killing her people...the queen is upset...but absolutely no reply was sent.”

“It sounds like bait to establish a connection trace.”

“What if it is true and the people are dying?”

“Either way, we're running out of time.”

For the third time, Qui-Gon closes the channel before Obi-Wan can talk to him about his soulmate problem. He sighs, defeated. Closing his eyes, he drifts into a meditative trance, trying to see if he could locate Anakin. Several minutes of silence later, he comes to and sighs. The Force doesn’t want him to find Anakin yet. Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. Patience it is. 

He eats dinner alone in his room, having told the queen he needs to meditate. Thank the Force most people hold the Jedi to a demigod standard. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to get away with these sort of shenanigans. The winds of the storm beat upon the ship, making it sway slightly. He decides to meditate again. For what better place for self reflection than in the middle of a deadly storm with a soulmate possibly in mortal peril somewhere on this Force-forsaken rock? Crossing his legs, he sits quietly in the silence, with only the howling wind to soothe him. He feels a warm burning under his skin and opens his eyes. 

_I was right_. 

Obi-Wan grabs his pen and responds. _About what?_

A beat. _He is a Jedi._

_Did you get his name?_

_Qui-Gon Jinn_. 

A chill runs down his spine. Obi-Wan feels the pen drop from his hand and clatter to the floor. It’s really him. Qui-Gon found Obi-Wan’s soulmate. He can’t believe it. He can’t believe he still can’t sense Anakin. He can’t believe Qui-Gon can’t sense Anakin. Breathing deeply, Obi-Wan stands and sits heavily on his bed. He sits there until he falls asleep. 

Obi-Wan dreams of death. 

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when he learns that his soulmate is Force sensitive. 

He spends the next day trying to occupy his hands. Sitting in the middle of the hyperdrive room, he fiddles absently with spare parts. When he looks at his lap, he finds he has made a little bird. Around noon, Qui-Gon contacts him. 

“I have a plan to get the hyperdrive. The weakness of most of these traders is greed. I made a bet with the Toydarian. I found a boy who claims to be good at podracing. I have wagered our ship in the pod race tomorrow in honor of Boonta Eve. If the boy wins, we get the hyperdrive. If he loses, the Toydarian gets the ship.”

“What if this plan fails, Master? We could be stuck here for a long time.”

“A ship without a power supply will not get us anywhere, and there is something about this boy… Trust me, Obi-Wan. The Force led us here for a reason. I’ll check in later.”

Obi-Wan isn’t even surprised when Qui-Gon ends the comm link. He sighs, and decides to go brief the queen. A part of him wonders if this is spite, because the queen will not approve. He silences the thought. 

“Your Majesty, if I may have an audience?”

“Come in, Master Jedi.”

“My master has devised a plan to get us off this barren rock. It is a bit risky, but I trust my master and I advise that you trust him as well. He plans to wager the ship on a pod in the pod race tomorrow. Don’t worry, Your Highness, Master Qui-Gon knows what he is doing. I wish I could say this is the first time he played with chance and the lives of others, but it is not.”

Obi-Wan scrutinizes the face of the young queen. There are bluish circles under her eyes and she blinks slowly, eyelids heavy. She looks weary and anxious, but nods nevertheless. 

“Very well. You have been loyal protectors in my and the Republic’s service. I trust you.”

Bowing, Obi-Wan retreats to his room. He spends the next several hours worrying about Anakin. He has a bad feeling that Anakin will be the one podracing. 

About an hour after the twin suns set, Qui-Gon’s voice rings through the room. 

“Obi-Wan…”

“Yes, Master.”

“Make an analysis of this blood sample I'm sending you.”

“Wait a minute…”

Obi-Wan rushes to the cockpit and runs the analysis as requested. 

“I need a midichlorian count.”

“All right. I've got it.”

“What are your readings?”

Frowning, Obi-Wan squints at the screen. He taps it, trying to force it to display the correct number. But nothing happens. That number cannot possibly be correct. Not even Master Yoda… 

“Something must be wrong with the transmission.”

“Here's a signal check.”

“Strange. The transmission seems to be in good order, but the reading's off the chart...over twenty thousand.” 

“That's it, then.” Obi-Wan barely hears this. 

“Even Master Yoda doesn't have a midichlorian count that high!”

“No Jedi has.”

“What does it mean?”

“I'm not sure.”

Qui-Gon ends the transmission and Obi-Wan leans back in the chair, gently rocking. He contemplates this new knowledge. He is certain that Qui-Gon is currently living with his soulmate. He is certain that the reading is from Anakin. He is certain that Anakin is Force sensitive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm sure you've noticed by now that I am roughly following canon. I hope you don't mind, I promise it's worth your while. 
> 
> Come say hi on my Tumblr! 
> 
> https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when he meets his soulmate for the first time.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when he meets his soulmate for the first time.

The day after his master sends him the midichlorian sample, Obi-Wan is functionally useless. The mere thought of how close Anakin is to him sends him spiraling with joy. He tries to help around the ship, making sure that the parts are all in the right place, but Panaka takes one look at him and shoos him back to his chambers. 

“With all due respect, Master Jedi, you look like a steaming pile of Fambaa1 fodder today. Go meditate or whatever the kriff you Jedi do when you suffer from the same conditions us mortals do.”

“Actually, Captain…” But Panaka gives Obi-Wan a glare that rivals some of the ones he had gotten from Qui-Gon. “If you insist.”

With a dramatic sweep of his robes, Obi-Wan glides out of the engine room, trying to preserve what little is left of his dignity in the Captain’s eyes. He hears muffled laughter and can feel amusement rolling off of the Captain in waves. He shakes his head and decides to hole up in the cockpit. He stays there for the rest of the day. Several hours later, Qui-Gon and Jar Jar return to the ship. 

“Start getting this hyperdrive generator installed. I'm going back...some unfinished business. I won't be long.”

“Why do I sense we've picked up another pathetic life form?” Obi-Wan remarks, desperately trying to hide his excitement under a veil of sass.

“It's the boy who's responsible for getting those parts.”

Qui-Gon walks away before Obi-Wan can process the news he has just been given. He knows the pathetic life form already. It’s _Anakin_. He knows it. He is going to get Anakin. Obi-Wan has to work very hard to conceal his glee from the rest of the crew. He half runs into the cockpit, giving a respectful nod to Ric Olie, the pilot, and immediately starts to help the pilot move the old hyperdrive out of the way. The two have worked well together over the past few days, making minor repairs, and that harmony does not fade now. They work steadily for the next hour or so. Just as they finish up running diagnostics, Captain Panaka, Padmé (one of the handmaidens. Obi-Wan has a sneaking suspicion this is actually the queen. He plans to make a bet with Qui-Gon on that) and a young boy that Obi-Wan has never seen before all burst into the cockpit. 

“Qui-Gon is in trouble, he says to take off!” Panaka yells. Obi-Wan’s heart rate spikes. Even though it is not the first time Qui-Gon has gotten into trouble, he can’t help but worry about his master. 

“I don't see anything.” Olie replies, desperately scanning the horizon. 

“Over there! Fly low!” Obi-Wan doesn’t see Qui-Gon exactly, but there is a Qui-Gon shaped dust cloud in the distance. 

_Oh Force, what has Qui-Gon gotten us into?_ Obi-Wan is swearing like a pirate in his head, careful to conceal his emotions between a steady face of quiet concern. The emotions of everyone around him crash over him, all anxious and afraid, none stronger than the boy’s. A quick survey of their faces reveal the same expression that Obi-Wan himself has. 

Olie expertly maneuvers the ship around to where Qui-Gon is. Obi-Wan looks carefully and sees that Qui-Gon’s green lightsaber is flashing wildly. Obi-Wan knows that Qui-Gon only uses his lightsaber in emergencies. He isn’t without an answer for long, when he sees a fearsome warrior giving Qui-Gon a run for his credits. The other person has a bright red lightsaber and a chill runs through Obi-Wan. **Sith**. This can’t be. The Sith… the Sith are _extinct_. 

But then Qui-Gon is on the ship and Obi-Wan rushes to his side, followed quickly by the boy. 

“Master!”

“Are you all right?” Anakin’s voice is filled with worry, surprising, considering the boy only met Qui-Gon a few days ago. 

“I think so... that was a surprise I won't soon forget.” 

“What was it?” Obi-Wan asks, even though they both knew.

“I don't know... but he was well trained in the Jedi arts. My guess is he was after the queen…” Obi-Wan knows that Qui-Gon doesn’t really believe that and shoots him a look. A look that Qui-Gon conveniently doesn’t see or chooses to ignore. 

“Do you think he'll follow us?”

“We'll be safe enough once we're in hyperspace, but I have no doubt he knows our destination.”

“What are we going to do about it?”

Even though Obi-Wan already knows who this is, he glances between Qui-Gon and the boy with raised eyebrows. Anakin meets his gaze with innocent blue eyes. Obi-Wan feels that familiar warmth rush through and under his skin, with a protective instinct. _Anakin_. 

“We will be patient. Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“Pleased to meet you. Wow! You're a Jedi too?”

As soon as Qui-Gon begins the introduction, Obi-Wan carefully monitors Anakin’s reactions. When the boy hears the name Obi-Wan, his already large blue eyes widen. Obi-Wan smiles softly and puts a finger to his lips when Qui-Gon isn’t looking. The boy nods. 

When Obi-Wan is sure that his master has recovered, he waits to engage Anakin until Qui-Gon leaves the room. Qui-Gon calls over his shoulder as he leaves. 

“Make sure the boy is comfortable, yes?”

“Yes, Master.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are left alone. 

“Hello Anakin. I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“Hello Obi-Wan. I’m Anakin Skywalker.”

“I know.” 

Those words cause the boy to smile widely and Obi-Wan feels his face match the youngling’s. Anakin surges forward and wraps Obi-Wan in a tight embrace. His small form fits nicely in Obi-Wan-Wan's arms, as if he were made to be there. Obi-Wan lets his chin rest on the boy's head and closes his eyes. His breathing slows as a feeling of peace settles over him like a soft blanket. Something about this scenario feels so _right_. Obi-Wan knows that this boy will be by his side for a long time. Because Obi-Wan is going to protect him, whether the Council and his Master permit it or not. Eventually, Anakin begins to pull away. Reluctantly, Obi-Wan lets him go, still holding his shoulders. 

“Why don’t we get you settled? I’m not sure if we have any rooms left, but you can sleep in my quarters if you want and I can explain how we know each other. How does that sound?”

The boy’s eyes light up and a feeling of contentment settles in Obi-Wan’s stomach. Not love exactly. That isn't what this is. Love is burning, love is overpowering. Love is leaving the Order. Love comes in waves. Love brings tears and love brings pain. This, this is not love. Well, it is. But not _ vii 2_ _._ Obi-Wan feels more attached to this boy than he has to anyone else and they don’t even know each other. Obi-Wan knows that if anything happens to this boy, he will be broken. 

“Come on then, Anakin.”

Obi-Wan gets up and holds his hand out, an invitation. Anakin hesitates for a minute and then accepts, grabbing onto the older man’s hand. Obi-Wan feels the nerves and fear rolling off of Anakin. 

“Everything is going to be okay, Anakin. I’m here and I will make sure you are taken care of.”

Anakin nods, looking trustingly at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan sees in Anakin’s eyes the same feelings that he knows are showing faintly in his own eyes. Trust, caring, love, confusion. Carefully, Obi-Wan leads Anakin to his chambers, making sure to avoid new people as he is not sure how jumpy the boy might be. When they arrive, Anakin hesitates on the threshold and Obi-Wan gently leads him inside, closing the door behind him. 

“Welcome to my humble abode for the time being. Here, sit.”

Anakikn walks over to the bed and runs his hands over the fine silk bed sheets, in awe of the luxury of this simple room. Obi-Wan feels a pang in his heart as he remembers that Anakin was a slave. 

“I’m sure you have questions. Why don’t we start there and then I can answer them. I think that will make this easier for both of us, don’t you agree?”

“Yes.”

Obi-Wan settles to the floor directly in front of the lad, looking up at him in silence. He is deep in thought. Obi-Wan takes this time to study his soulmate and see if there are any signs of abuse. He has heard tales of the horrors inflicted on slaves by the Hutts, and knows that if there was any sign of harm on Anakin, he would kill every single one of those slugs. No, he wouldn’t, not unless Anakin wants him to. Obi-Wan knows he isn’t a killer. He ignores the part of his brain that whispers, _not YET._

“What will happen to me?”

“My Master has decided to take you to the Jedi Temple to be tested. If you pass the test, there is a possibility that you will be trained as a Jedi. But you are a lot older than the other initiates. Most initiates have been training for years at this point. So you might not be trained. However, if you are not trained, you will likely remain in the Temple anyways.”

“Why?”  
  


“Because we are soulmates.” Obi-Wan says simply, carefully watching the boy to gauge his reaction. 

“Soulmates?”

“Here, let me get you some more information. One moment.”

Obi-Wan roots around his bag until he finds the datapad with the passage Madame Jocasta read to him years ago. He kept it on the off chance he met his soulmate while on mission. Then he would be able to explain it. His foresight paid off this time, and for that he is grateful. 

Handing it to the boy, Obi-Wan settles back to the floor and watches Anakin read it. Anakin reads slowly. He notices a few scratches and scars on the boy’s face and hands, but nothing serious. In all likelihood, they were from normal childhood accidents. He hopes.

“So, soulmates. And I make you stronger?”

“Yes. If you are a Jedi as well, then I will make you stronger in turn.”

“And whatever I write on my skin appears on yours?”  
  
“Yes. Would you like proof? Other than what we have already,” Obi-Wan adds with a wry grin.

Anakin nods and Obi-Wan grabs the pen from where it sits on the nightstand. He hands it to Anakin. Anakin thinks for a moment and then writes a quick message on his hand. Obi-Wan waits for a moment and then feels the familiar warmth, but stronger this time. Like it has been increased by the discovery of Anakin’s identity. _Thank you for finding me_ . Obi-Wan almost feels tears in his eyes from the sincerity and the **weight** behind those words. Wordlessly, he holds out his arm to Anakin, who scoots closer. He studies Anakin’s face and sees him silently mouthing the words. 

  
“Are you convinced?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good. Why don’t you sleep here for a bit. You must be tired. I must consult with my Master but I will be right here,” Obi-Wan quickly reassures the child as he sees the panic on Anakin’s face. “Get some rest, Anakin. If you need me, just… write on your arm and I’ll come back immediately.”

With that, Obi-Wan helps Anakin get comfortable on the soft bed and then leaves. Qui-Gon is sitting at a holochess table, studying the checkerboard. 

“Master. Was that a Sith?”

“I believe so Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon’s eyes never leave the board. 

“Have you alerted the Council?” Obi-Wan already knows the answer. 

“No.”

“And what of the boy?”

“He is your soulmate, is he not?”

Obi-Wan says nothing, which Qui-Gon takes as assent. 

“I suspect that will have weight with the Council. I sense that you will be among the greatest of us one day, Obi-Wan. They will not want you to fall. I still hope to train the boy. I believe that you are ready to face the Trials.”

These words gut Obi-Wan. Ready for the Trials. His Master believes he is ready to be a full fledged Jedi. But this is followed by a pang of resentment. Why now? Obi-Wan realizes that he is only being told this because it is convenient for Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon just wants him out of the way so he can train Anakin. 

He chooses his next words carefully. “Thank you, Master. I am grateful for your confidence in my abilities and all the training you have given me.”

Qui-Gon merely hums in assent. 

“Did you know?” Obi-Wan can’t help but ask. 

“What?” Qui-Gon asks, even though they both know what Obi-Wan is referring to. 

“Did you know he was my soulmate when you found him? Because I remember that I told you his name.”

“I did not.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t press the matter. The pair chat about other things and play a few rounds of holochess. Obi-Wan is better than Qui-Gon and wins 8 games out of 10. They begin another and Obi-Wan decides to bring up the thought he had about the queen as he makes the opening move.

“So Master, would you like a wager?”

“You know I’m always ready to waste away Temple credits.”

“I wager twenty credits that Padmé is really Queen Amidala.”

“Make it fifty.”

“Done.” A few minutes later, Obi-Wan makes the winning move in their game. 

“You’re getting slow of mind, Master. Are you sure you’re ready for another Padawan?” Obi-Wan can’t resist teasing his Master, eyes lighting up in glee when Qui-Gon glares at him in mock anger. 

“Watch yourself, Obi-Wan. I may be getting old, but I can still run circles around you.”

“Only in your dreams, Master.”

With that, Obi-Wan claims 9 out of 11 wins. Luckily for Qui-Gon’s pride, Captain Panaka comes in and informs him the queen wishes to see him. 

“I’ll beat you later, Obi-Wan. Mark my words.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t dignify the hollow threat with a response. He grabs a holonovel from the nearby shelf and absentmindedly flips through it. A few minutes later, Olie comms him, asking for some company. The pair spend the next few hours in companionable silence, interspersed with playful banter. Olie, at least, appreciates Obi-Wan’s razor wit and tongue to match. When Obi-Wan feels the warmth, he hastily excuses himself and makes his way to his chambers. Anakin sits on the bed, fiddling with the pen. 

“What is it, Anakin?”

“I’m hungry. Didn’t you read the message?”

“I did not. I was worried something was wrong so I merely got here as fast as I could. Come, let’s get you something to eat. The queen is about to have her supper, so I’m sure there’s some food lying around. Then you should get some more rest. We are all going to have a busy few days.”

“Oh, before we go, I wanted to give you something.” Anakin roots through his pouch for a few moments, producing something which he hides in his fist. “Close your eyes and stick out your hand.”

Grinning, Obi-Wan complies. He feels something heavy settle on his palm. “You can open your eyes now.” 

He looks first at Anakin, who is looking at him eagerly. Then he looks at his hand. Lying in the centre of his palm is a small pendant. It looks to be made out of some form of plant material with intricate patterns carved into it. The pendant is attached to a cord. Obi-Wan looks back at Anakin.

“I, uh... made this for you. I asked my mom about the writing on my arm and she told me to hide it. But then you told me your name, so I brought it up again. Even though she didn’t know what it meant, she told me that this must mean something. So I made it for you in case we ever met. It has my name carved on the back.” Anakin flips the pendant around and places it back on Obi-Wan’s palm. Obi-Wan squints and sees the letters, small and slightly crooked, spelling 'Anakin' in childish letters. “I made one for me too, with your name. I’ve been wearing it since I made it, which was like a year ago? We can match!”

Anakin’s eyes are shining and Obi-Wan feels his heart melt. He takes another look at it before pulling it around his neck. It settles comfortably on his sternum. Anakin smiles, so bright it almost blinds Obi-Wan. 

“I wasn’t sure how old you were so I made it longer. I can adjust it, if you’d like!” 

“No, there’s no need. It’s perfect.” He smiles at Anakin who beams back. Together, they tuck their necklaces under their shirts.

That night, Obi-Wan insists Anakin sleep in his chambers; he assures the youngling that he has plenty of experience sleeping on the floor. With some mild protests, Anakin agrees. Obi-Wan settles in on the floor directly beside the bed, listening to the breathing of Anakin deepen. He drifts off not soon after. When he wakes, Anakin is on the floor next to him, curled up against his side. 

* * *

The next few days are uneventful. They make it to Coruscant successfully. When they reach the landing platform, the senator from Naboo, Sheev Palpatine, is waiting for them and Chancellor Vallorum’s shuttle is just pulling up. Obi-Wan pulls Anakin aside, hyper-aware of the gaze of Qui-Gon and the Senator on the child. He moves Anakin so the boy is shielded behind him.

“When we get to the planet, you will go with Queen Amidala. Master Qui-Gon and I need to discuss matters with the Council and we think you should stay with the handmaidens and Jar Jar for the time being. Don’t worry, I’ll come and get you later. I promise. Here, take my pen. If you get scared, tell me.”

Anakin nods, still slightly overwhelmed by the sights of the massive city. Obi-Wan gives him a smile and ruffles his hair a little bit. Then the ramp descends and they are parting ways. As the shuttle with the queen and Anakin leaves, Obi-Wan feels a small burst of longing. _Quiet_ , he tells himself. _This isn't goodbye_. 

The Jedi make their way to the Temple. It is a relief to be home. It has been too long, and, after the experience Qui-Gon had on Tatooine, Obi-Wan is sure the feeling is mutual. But before they can retreat to their shared chambers, they must brief the Council. Qui-Gon leads the way and Obi-Wan follows a step behind. One thing he is not looking forward to about being a Knight is having to give reports to the Council alone. He is more than content to let Qui-Gon do the talking. Just like today. 

“Welcome home, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. We are pleased that you made it here safely with the queen. Despite some… delays.” Mace Windu’s critical gaze lands on Qui-Gon. 

“Forgive us, Masters. Our journey was more eventful than we had planned. We were forced to land on Tatooine after our hyperdrive was damaged when we fled the planet. They did not accept Republic credits and so I had to use some… underhanded means to attain a new hyperdrive. When we were returning from Mos Eisley, I was attacked by a man wearing black robes and weidling a red lightsaber… my only conclusion can be that it was a Sith Lord.”

“A Sith Lord?!?”

Obi-Wan tunes the Council out as words appear over his skin. 

_Obi-Wan, Padmé isn’t here. I’m sitting with Jar Jar. He talks a lot._

_I didn’t know that there could be so many people in one place._

_There are PLANTS indoors._

“Hard to see, the dark side is. Discover who this assassin is, we must.” Obi-Wan jolts back into awareness at the mention of the dark side. He looks up and sees Master Yoda’s gaze resting on him. 

“I sense he will reveal himself again,” Master Ki-Adi muses

Master Windu agrees. “This attack was with purpose, that is clear, and I agree the Queen is the target.”

“With this Naboo queen you must stay, Qui-Gon. Protect her.”

Nodding, Mace continues, “We will use all our resources here to unravel this mystery and

discover the identity of your attacker... May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you.”

Obi-Wan bows and moves to leave, but halts when he notices Qui-Gon still standing there. 

“Master Qui-Gon, more to say have you?”

“With your permission, my Master. I have encountered a vergence in the Force.”

“A vergence, you say?” Yoda sounds skeptical.

Windu leans forward, eyes glittering, “Located around a… person?”

“A boy... his cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life form. It is possible he was conceived by the midi-chlorians.”

Windu relaxes. “You're referring to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force...you believe it's this boy?” Obi-Wan watches all of this with wide-eyes, knowing that his Master is going to be put in his place. 

“I don't presume…” Qui-Gon backs down slightly. 

“But you do! Revealed, your opinion is.”

“I request the boy be tested.”

Obi-Wan surveys the Council, noting the surprise and annoyance. He sighs, knowing that this will not end well. 

“Trained as a Jedi, you request for him?”

“Finding him was the will of the Force… I have no doubt of that. There is too much happening here…”

Windu interrupts, “Bring him before us, then.”

“Tested he will be.”

Obi-Wan can feel the frustration of his master and from the tense glares in the room, the other Masters feel it too. But the conversation is over. Obi-Wan bows and Qui-Gon follows suit. He admires the diplomatic nature of the conversation. The Council agrees to test Anakin without giving any promises about his fate. They leave the chambers and Qui-Gon immediately lets out a sigh. 

“That went well, Master.”

“I can’t say it was unexpected. They are stubborn and set in their ways. That will be their downfall.” Obi-Wan blinks in shock, not having heard such an ominous statement from his master, at least not in a long time. 

“I... With your permission, I want to go find Bant.”

Qui-Gon waves him off, lost in thought. Obi-Wan takes that as an invitation and sprints away, deciding to take a shortcut through the healing halls. Skidding to a stop in front of his dorm room, he opens the door and hurries to his bed, collapsing in relief. As much as he enjoys running around the galaxy with his master, there is no denying how much the Jedi Temple feels like home to him. He lies there for a few minutes then walks to the fresher. After a relaxing few minutes, he emerges, drying his hair and examining his arms. The words from inside the Council Chamber are still there, along with new ones. _When are you coming to get me?_ Obi-Wan smiles and finds his pen. _Soon._ He sees Qui-Gon meditating in the living area. He quietly folds the towel up and exits the chamber. Bant’s chambers are only a few minutes away and he spends the walk constantly checking his arms. He knows rationally that there will be nothing new there without the warmth but that doesn't stop him from looking. 

Bant is not in her rooms. Frowning, he comms her and receives no reply. Unfortunately, that means she is off world with her master, Kit Fisto. Dejected, Obi-Wan wanders the Temple until he receives a summons from Master Yoda. 

“To my chambers, report. Much to discuss we have. Tell us everything, your master did not.”

Obi-Wan sighs. “On my way, Master Yoda.”

Arriving at Yoda’s chambers, he raises his hand to knock. But the Master obviously senses his presence as the door opens just as he does so. Obi-Wan rolls his eyes in amusement and enters. 

“Master.” He bows. 

“Enter, Padawan Kenobi. An eventful few days have you had. Sit, sit.”

Obi-Wan obeys. “You were correct, Master Yoda. Qui-Gon has not told you everything.”

“Found your soulmate, you have?” The wizened master gazes serenely at Obi-Wan, carefully analyzing him behind a veneer of calm. 

“Ye,s Master. He… he was a slave. But he risked everything for us. He greatly helped us in our mission by securing the hyperdrive. And I… I am happy to have met him.”

“Strong in the force, is he?” 

“Yes, Master. As strong as Master Qui-Gon informed the Council .”

“Changes things, him being your soulmate does. Take this into consideration we must. Hinder you, Anakin must not. A danger to you and himself he could be.”

“Yes, Master, I understand.” Obi-Wan does not understand. But he trusts his Master and the two spend the afternoon discussing Qui-Gon and the subtleties of the mission to Naboo. When Yoda dismisses him, Obi-Wan is noticeably more relaxed and returns to his shared chambers with a smile on his face. Anakin crosses his mind several times before he drifts into a peaceful sleep. 

The next day, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are sent to retrieve Anakin. Or rather, Obi-Wan is sent alone on the excuse of Qui-Gon having to do research. Obi-Wan doesn't complain, merely shaking his head as his master leaves him alone on the steps of the temple. He scurries down the steps, hailing a speeder to take him to the Senate building. The mushroom-like building looms over the surrounding area, a regal reminder of the might of the Republic. Obi-Wan always hated the shape of that building. The architect must have been smoking something when they thought it up. But, then again, Obi-Wan is not an architect and he is sure that they knew that they were doing. Inquiring with the Senate guard, who lower their guard when he reveals his lightsaber, Obi-Wan is directed to the ninth floor in the southeast corner. He strides calmly through the halls, carefully masking his distaste for politics behind a veil of polite severity. Most people get out of the way when they see this face, and today is no exception. He finds Anakin sitting outside Queen Amidala’s chambers. 

“Hello there.”

“Obi-Wan!” Anakin is on his feet and hugging Obi-Wan in an instant. “Padmé wasn’t there all night.” _Ah yes_ , Obi-Wan thinks. _More evidence to support my ‘Padmé is Queen Amidala theory.’_

“I’m sorry to hear that. The queen is out right now, right? In a senate hearing?”

“Yes.”

“You have been summoned by the Council. You need to come with me now.”

  
“What’s going to happen to me?”

“You will be tested, like we discussed earlier. If you are approved, then you will be trained. If not, then you will stay with me. Either way, you and I will not be far apart.”

Anakin nods and follows as Obi-Wan leads him out of the Senate. The ride back to the Temple is spent in amused silence from Obi-Wan and a chattering Anakin, who will not stop talking. Obi-Wan can’t complain. He is happy that Anakin seems to be enjoying himself. Qui-Gon is waiting for them when they arrive. Obi-Wan leaps out of the speeder, showing off a little to the astounded boy, then gently lifts him up and out. Anakin takes off running and Obi-Wan follows after an obligatory eye roll. When Anakin reaches Qui-Gon, he is bounding up and down in excitement.

“Are you ready, Anakin?”

“Yep!”

“Let's go. Obi-Wan?”

“Coming, Master.”

The trio walk into the temple and Anakin immediately quiets, sensing the almost sacred nature of the ground on which he walks. He looks questioningly at Obi-Wan who nods encouragingly. Anakin follows Qui-Gon, trailed closely by Obi-Wan. When they reach the Council chamber, Obi-Wan kneels to Anakin’s level. 

“Be mindful of your feelings, Anakin. Trust the Force. I believe that you can do this. And don't be nervous, the Council doesn’t bite.”

Anakin nods then looks to Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan notes that Qui-Gon is eyeing the boy like he is already his Padawan, which sends a pang of jealousy through the older boy. He shakes it off and ushers Anakin into the chamber. One last smile and the doors close. 

“Master, was this really a good idea?” Obi-Wan asks as Qui-Gon begins to walk out towards the nearest balcony. 

“Whatever do you mean, Obi-Wan?”

“The boy will not pass the Council's tests, Master, and you know it. He is far too old.”

“Anakin will become a Jedi...I promise you.”

“Don't defy the Council, Master… not again.”

“I will do what I must.”

“Master, you could be sitting on the Council by now if you would just follow the code. They will not go along with you this time.”

“You still have much to learn, my young apprentice.”

Obi-Wan scoffs and turns away. He knows he is radiating anger and frustration, but he doesn't care. It is clear now more than ever that Qui-Gon wants to get rid of Obi-Wan and replace him with Anakin. Obi-Wan wants nothing more than to be a Jedi Knight, but he wishes that Qui-Gon would recommend his advancement based on Obi-Wan’s personal merits. 

They stand in silence until the Council summons them back. Qui-Gon enters first. Before Obi-Wan can get to Anakin, Qui-Gon already has his hands on the boy's shoulders, squeezing gently. Obi-Wan’s gut clenches in jealousy. Then he surveys the faces of the Council and sees only disappointment. _Oh no_. 

“...Correct you were, Qui-Gon.”

Ki-Adi adds to Yoda’s statement, “The Force is strong with him.”

“He's to be trained, then.”

“No. He will not be trained.” Windu’s eyes are hard. 

Obi-Wan sees tears form in the younger boy’s eyes and feels a deep sadness. His heart goes out to Anakin, but he is pleased that the Council seems to be putting his master in his place. 

“No??!!” Qui-Gon’s exclamation is met with raised eyebrows. Obi-Wan smiles. 

“He is too old. There is already too much anger in him.”

“He is the _Daisha_...you must see it.”

“Clouded, this boy's future is. Masked by his youth.”

“I will train him, then. I take Anakin as my Padawan learner.”

Even though Obi-Wan knew this was coming, the fact that Qui-Gon is so openly choosing to admit this and cast Obi-Wan aside shocks him. He had hoped… his face burns. He feels the judgement of the Council. Anakin glances at him, worried, and Obi-Wan realizes he let his shock show through their fragile bond. He sends waves of reassurance though, while carefully masking his true thoughts. 

“An apprentice, you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible, to take on a second.”

“We forbid it.” Mace’s voice leaves no room for argument, but Qui-Gon tries anyway. 

“Obi-Wan is ready…”

“I am ready to face the trials.” Obi-Wan cannot resist the chance to become a Knight, futile as it may be. 

“Ready so early, are you? What know you of ready?”

Obi-Wan glances at Qui-Gon and sees the anger and shame he feels reflected in the face of his Master. Obi-Wan knows that he is ready. Surely the Council must see it. Anakin watches all of this with interest and Obi-Wan controls himself. 

“Headstrong....and he has much to learn about the living Force,” Qui-Gon admits, “But he is capable. There is little more he will learn from me.”

“Our own Council we will keep on who is ready. More to learn, he has…”

“Now is not the time for this...the Senate is voting for a new Supreme Chancellor. Queen Amidala is returning home, which will put pressure on the Federation, and could widen the confrontation.” Mace puts a stop to the debate and Obi-Wan relaxes. Anakin glances at him, but Obi-Wan ignores the boy. 

“And draw out the queen's attacker,” Ki-Adi says, drawing nods from the other members of the Council.

“Events are moving fast...too fast.”

“Go with the Queen to Naboo and discover the identity of the dark warrior. That is the clue we need to unravel this mystery of the Sith,” Windu commands. 

“Young Skywalker's fate will be decided later.” 

“I brought Anakin here; he must stay in my charge. He has nowhere else to go.” Obi-Wan and Anakin share a moment of relief that they will not be separated. 

“He is your ward, Qui-Gon...we will not dispute that,” Windu relents. 

“Train him not. Take him with you, but train him not!” Yoda’s voice is resolute and unwavering. 

“Protect the Queen, but do not intercede if it comes to war until we have the Senate's approval.”

“May the Force be with you.”

Obi-Wan bows, with Qui-Gon and Anakin following suit. They leave the chamber and Qui-Gon sighs. 

“I’m sorry,” Anakin immediately apologizes. 

“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. The Council is blind on this matter.” Qui-Gon kneels to his level and ignores the warning look that Obi-Wan gives him. Obi-Wan may want to be a Knight, but he can not ignore his gut feeling. It was not a coincidence that he dreamed of death when he learned of Anakin’s presence on Tatooine. There is something deadly about Anakin, something lurking in the dark corners of the Force, something evil, sinister, insidious. He does not want Anakin to be trained as a Jedi. It is too risky for his safety. 

“What now, Master Qui-Gon, sir?”

“Now we go back to Naboo. The Council has ordered Obi-Wan and I back there to protect the queen. And you will be coming with us.”

Obi-Wan cannot conceal his horror at that. Even though he knows this is what the Council ordered, the thought of Anakin being anywhere near danger makes him feel sick. But he says nothing. On the landing platform, when Anakin is attending to the astromech who appears to have imprinted on him, Obi-Wan lets his feelings be known. 

“Master, if you keep up your defiance, you will face consequences. Are you sure he is worth all of this?”

“Obi-Wan, I am surprised. I thought you would want this. And watch your tongue. You are being disrespectful.” 

“It is not disrespect, Master, it is the truth.”

“From your point of view....”

“The boy is dangerous...they all sense it. Why can't you?”

“His fate is uncertain, not dangerous. The Council will decide Anakin's future...that should be enough for you. Now get on board!”

Obi-Wan stands there for a moment, locked in a battle of wills with his Master. Blue meets blue in a silent battle. But Obi-Wan is still the learner, so he backs down. With a mocking bow, he whirls around and stalks into the ship. He seeks out Olie and takes refuge in the cockpit, where he knows Qui-Gon will not be. “Kriffing Jedi,” he huffs, sinking to a seat next to the pilot. 

Startled, the other man lets out a laugh. “Well, Master Jedi. It looks like you're mortal after all!”

After a moment, Obi-Wan joins in his laughter. When Anakin enters the cockpit, Obi-Wan is silent. Sensing Anakin’s excitement about the ship, he relinquishes his seat next to Olie and forces a smile for Anakin’s benefit. But his heart isn’t in it and they both know it. He does not resent Anakin, how could he? But he is unhappy and Anakin must sense it, because he keeps worriedly glancing at Obi-Wan over his shoulder. 

“Obi-Wan, come.” Qui-Gon’s voice rings out, sharp in the silent cockpit. Obi-Wan flinches ever so slightly. They have had their disagreements in the past, but something about this one feels different. Tension oozing from every pore in his body, Obi-Wan gets up and follows his master, not even glancing at Anakin, even though the boy’s worried gaze is fixed firmly on him. 

Qui-Gon leads him to just outside the queen’s chambers. Then he spins on his heel and glares at Obi-Wan. Clearly, he is not over Obi-Wan’s resistance to Anakin being trained. 

“The queen has requested our presence for a meeting. You are to listen only, is that clear?”

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan keeps his voice level but there is fire in his eyes. If Qui-Gon sees it, he doesn’t comment. Together, they enter the chamber. 

“Ah, Master Jedi,” Panaka greets them. 

“Captain. Your Highness.” The pair bows. Obi-Wan goes to stand next to Jar Jar. He feels warmth under his skin and glances at his hand to see what Anakin asks of him now. 

_Are you okay?_

Obi Wan's heart melts at the care and concern behind these words. He sneaks a pen out of his pocket and responds. _Yes. Just frustrated._

_Can I help?_

_No. You can’t. All you can do is stay safe._

_I am trying. I promise to stay safe._

_I know you will. And I will be there to protect you_

“Jar Jar Binks!”

“Mesa, your Highness?”

Obi-Wan’s head snaps up at this, he listens in horror as the queen asks Jar Jar for help. _Oh no_ , he thinks. _We are all going to die_. When the briefing is over, he rushes back to the cockpit before Qui-Gon can intercept him. Anakin is still there, but he stands when he sees the slightly murderous expression on Obi-Wan’s face. 

_I’ll be in your room_. Anakin exits.

Obi-Wan spends the rest of the trip in companionable silence with Olie. When they reach Naboo, Obi-Wan is pleasantly surprised to see only one ship in orbit: a droid control ship. That means there is already an army on the ground and Naboo has become a staging ground. Captain Panaka enters and stands silently behind Olie. 

“The blockade's gone,” Olie notes, sounding surprised. 

“The war's over...No need for it now,” Obi-Wan says, still surveying the empty space around the planet. 

“I have one battleship on my scope.” Obi-Wan leans over the pilot's shoulder and takes a look. 

“A droid control ship.”

“They've probably spotted us.” Panaka points out the obvious.

“We haven't much time.”

The next few hours pass quickly. There is much to do and Obi-Wan loses sight of Anakin in the shuffle. When Obi-Wan finds him again, he grabs the boy’s arm and leads him away from prying ears. Anakin doesn’t object. He follows obediently behind Obi-Wan and sits on the roots of the tree they stop by. 

“Promise me you will stay out of the way. This is going to be very dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I promise. Master Obi-Wan, sir, what’s going to happen to me after?”

“You will be staying with me in the Jedi Temple. It is too risky for you to leave. Especially since you are apparently the key to my sanity in some capacity.” Obi-Wan hesitates, then speaks very softly. “And... And I don’t want you to leave.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Looks like it’s time to go. Come on.”

Before they go, Obi-Wan finds Qui-Gon. He has been stewing in a pot of regret for the past few days and knows that Qui-Gon has been stewing in a pot of anger. Obi-Wan wants to make it right. 

“Jar Jar is on his way to the Gungan city, Master.”

Qui-Gon doesn’t seem to hear him. And when he does respond, it is as if he is a thousand lightyears away. 

“Good.” His voice is ice cold. 

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stand silently for a moment.

“Do you think the queen's idea will work?”

“The Gungans will not easily be swayed, and we cannot use our power to help her.”

“I'm...I'm sorry for my behavior, Master. It is not my place to disagree with you about the boy. I am grateful that you found him, as I am grateful you think I am ready for the trials.”

Qui-Gon looks at him for a long moment. Obi-Wan holds his gaze, unwavering. 

“You have been a good apprentice. You are much wiser than I am, Obi-Wan. I foresee you will become a great Jedi Knight.”

Then Qui-Gon walks away, not even realizing the shock that Obi-Wan is in. 

* * *

  1. Fambaa: A creature native to Naboo. The Gungans often use them as mounts.  [ ▲ ]
  2. _Vii_ : "to love romantically." [ ▲ ]



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOHOOOO HERE WE GO LADIES, LORDS, AND NONBINARY ROYALTY! Things are gonna start getting good from here on out. Very sorry for the two chapter buildup (not really). Smol Anakin and Tol Obi-Wan was very fun and their dynamic only gets better. I just love them so much. This was a bit of a long chapter because I couldn't figure out where to cut it. Oh well!
> 
> As always, come say hi! 
> 
> https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when the Battle of Naboo begins

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when the Battle of Naboo begins.

The meeting with the Gungans goes well. Obi-Wan gets fifty credits out of it and subtly gives it to Anakin with a grin and a wink. Anakin’s mouth hangs open and then he smiles. Obi-Wan is once again reminded that Anakin was a slave and likely has never seen so many credits in his life. As he focuses back on the mission, Obi-Wan tries to distract himself from the anger that fills him at the treatment of his soulmate. 

The initial assault goes as planned. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon assist the queen, getting her and her forces safely into the hanger. Qui-Gon deposits Anakin behind a pillar and tells him to stay hidden. Obi-Wan looks over his shoulder and winks at the boy, who holds up a pen in response. Obi-Wan nods and then jumps as a blaster bolt nearly takes his braid off. They dispose quickly of the rest of the droids. Qui-Gon consults with the queen and her forces. Obi-Wan feels a disturbance in the Force and glances around. He doesn’t see anything so he waits. They regroup and head towards the doors leading into the palace. As the first wave of soldiers reaches the door, they scatter. Obi-Wan’s stomach clenches. This is it. The Sith who Qui-Gon faced on Tatooine waits for them, a black-clad menace. The queen looks at the two Jedi, who step forward in unison. 

“We’ll handle this,” Obi-Wan dimly hears his master say. He stares at the Sith, who glares back with hate filled eyes. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon advance, shrugging off their robes and igniting their lightsabers in unison. The black clad figure follows suit, igniting a massive double bladed lightsaber. Obi-Wan feels the steady presence of his master and centers himself. Then they leap forward in unison. 

The battle is tense. Their opponent is skilled, and it takes all of Obi-Wan’s talent and concentration to keep up. The man leads them away from the hanger in a deadly game of cat and mouse. Obi-Wan is grateful to be away from Anakin. He knows that if he dies, Anakin will be devastated. He doesn’t want the boy to see that. Then Obi-Wan gets a boot in the face and finds himself on the ground. Racing to his feet, he pursues his Master, determined to assist. 

The eerie blue light washes over them as they move through this chamber, engaged in an elegant, deadly dance. Together, Master and Padawan advance, hurling strike after strike at the Sith. He retreats until he is forced to the edge. Obi-Wan feints and allows his master to strike. Then the Sith is gone, leaping away from them. They follow. The Sith’s eyes are yellow and red. 

He disengages, leaping over Qui-Gon and backing further onto the platform. Then Obi-Wan is falling. The Sith’s boot hits him right in the forehead, sending him tumbling into the abyss. He lands with a thud on the platform below and tumbles over, barely gripping the edge. Still hearing the sounds of the fight, he dangles and then pulls himself gracefully to his feet, scooping up his lightsaber. He searches wildly then runs towards the fight, igniting his lightsaber as he does. The two men are heading towards a ray shield array. Obi-Wan sprints as fast as he can, praying he can catch up. **NO**. He skids to a halt and watches as Qui-Gon and the Sith stand separated from each other by a thin ray shield. There are three in between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. 

Qui-Gon sits and meditates. Obi-Wan would have laughed if he wasn’t so high on adrenaline, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet. He watches the Sith stalk like a predator on the other side of the wall. Then the walls deactivate, Qui-Gon leaps to his feet and Obi-Wan takes off. He misses, barely managing to stop before slamming into the ray shield.

SO CLOSE. ONE SHIELD 

_Hold on master, I’m right here._ Obi-Wan stands helpless and watches the fight. _Down up down up down up up up down up down jump duck strike._ Obi-Wan watches anxiously as the Sith unleashes a barrage of blows upon his master. Qui-Gon is holding steady. 

_Crack_ , Qui-Gon’s head snaps back. 

_Shssssss_. 

Qui-Gon lets out a gasp as the lightsaber stabs him through the stomach. 

Obi-Wan screams, releasing pain and anger and regret and sorrow and RAGE into the Force. He was so close, he was _so close_. He knows Anakin felt it because not two seconds later, a familiar warmth burns his skin. He ignores it. He is too focused on the predator, the monster, who took his Master from him. The white hot fire of rage overpowers the gentle warmth of Anakin. It burns. He embraces it. 

The Sith withdraws the blade, uncaring and Qui-Gon sinks to the floor. Obi-Wan is still screaming. He’s barely aware of anything other than the seething _hatred_ in his veins. It writhes under his skin, begging to be let out. He bounces back and forth, staring at Qui-Gon’s body as it rolls and then stops moving. Then his eyes turn to the Sith who is stalking in front of the shield. 

The shield drops, Obi-Wan pounces. He embraces the hatred. It fuels him. Their battle is fast, faster than Qui-Gon’s duel. They trade blows in a fight that moves so fluidly, it looks choreographed, strike after strike after strike. The Sith is raining blows that Obi-Wan continues to block before he finally gets an advantage and cuts his lightsaber in half. Landing on the floor,the Sith leaps up and the fight continues.

Obi-Wan flips back as another boot connects with his face. He tastes a bit of blood on the inside of his mouth and swallows it down. His arm heats up again. 

No time. No time. **Qui-Gon**. 

Obi-Wan pushes his advantage. Then he is tumbling backward as he is force pushed into the pit. He scrambles, grabs hold. Above him, the Sith looks down at him, mocking him. ‘Weak little Jedi. I will kill you just as I killed your Master’, he seems to say. Obi-Wan’s lightsaber tumbles past him. Obi-Wan focuses on holding on, thinking fast. He sees Qui-Gon’s lightsaber. **I’m sorry master.**

He leaps. The lightsaber leaps to match him. He swings. The Sith groans. He tumbles backwards into the pit. And is gone. 

He rushes to Qui-Gon’s side, pulling the older man’s head to rest in his lap. “Master! Master!”

“It is too late… It’s…” Qui-Gon is gasping for breath. 

“No!” Obi-Wan insists, voice thick with tears. He is dimly aware of the jubilation coming from his bond with Anakin and pushes it down. He cannot celebrate now. Not when… 

Qui-Gon clutches desperately at Obi-Wan. “Obi-Wan, promise… promise me you’ll train the boy…” 

“Yes, Master…” Obi-Wan is openly weeping, tears dripping from his face onto his master’s. 

“He is the chosen one… He will… bring balance… to the Force…” Life leaves Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan is left crying over a corpse.

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when he loses his master.

He loses all concept of time. He just sits there rocking back and forth. Clutching his master to his chest, sobbing. He can’t breathe. He… he can't think. He just exists, a lost child. The floor is cold through his robes. It is a deep, decisive pain. The Force bond formed between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon over years of training, collaborating, living together snaps and hangs quivering in Obi-Wan’s mind. It searches for a connection and the Force weeps. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when he loses one of the constants in his life. 

A soldier finds him in the room. When the Jedi had not emerged, the queen assumed the worst and sent a scout. The soldier is loud. He calls for Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is Lost. He does not want to answer. He wants to yell at the soldier for interrupting his vigil. His eyes flash red as the soldier enters then fade to blue again, filling with tears again. The rage is only serving to fuel his grief. The soldier stands still, just observing, hand over mouth, knowing they are interrupting. They retreat, leaving Obi-Wan in his grief. He sobs harder, huddling over the body, desperately willing life back into the body. 

The Force croons at the lost child, reminding him of his loyalty and his responsibility. The flailing bond dangling in his mind finds something to latch on to. Obi-Wan feels Anakin’s worry, his fear… Briefly blinking away tears, he checks his arm. _Are you okay?_ No. He is not okay. Will he ever be okay again? 

_Obi-Wan!!!_

The soldier returns with help. Obi-Wan screams at them and a pulse emanates from his body. The soldiers crumple with thuds to the ground. They regroup, calling for backup. Obi-Wan crouches protectively over Qui-Gon, snarling. He doesn’t recognize these soldiers. They could be Sith. He can’t let them desecrate Qui-Gon’s body. 

Panaka comes. He approaches Obi-Wan and wraps him in a hug. Obi-Wan’s rage melts away and he desperately clutches at Panaka, chest heaving, hiccuping, sobs wracking through his body. 

“I couldn’t… I couldn’t save… I couldn’t save him… I wasn’t… I wasn’t fast enough… I tried. I TRIED.” Desperately trying to make the other man understand that he’d FAILED. 

Panaka says nothing, just holds the trembling boy. The other soldiers retreat. They sit there, Qui-Gon still draped elegantly across the floor. As if he were sleeping. He could be sleeping. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 25 when he carries his Master out of the room where he was killed. 

Qui-Gon is resting gently in Obi-Wan’s arms. It had taken a few hours for him to recover from the shock. Panaka was there the whole time, supporting the Jedi who’d lost his Master defending Panaka’s Queen. Obi-Wan’s face is unreadable. He stares straight ahead, jaw clenched. The Council is waiting for him. Their faces melt into expressions of horror and sadness. Obi-Wan’s face is unreadable. Mace Windu approaches, offering to take the body. Obi-Wan ignores him, face twisted in pain. The Council murmurs around him, a hub of support and sorrow. Obi-Wan’s face relaxes as he lays Qui-Gon to rest on a bed. He kneels and spends a few more minutes in silent vigil, feeling the presence of the Council around him, lending him their strength. 

_You were my Master but now you are the Force._

_You guided me as the Force will continue to guide me._

_I will follow you in the Force one day but today I live._

_Tonight, the fire will release you._

_One with the Force, part of the whole_

_May you be one with the Force._

_Goodbye Qui-Gon._

* * *

Master Yoda gives Obi-Wan another hour before he calls for him. In that hour, every inch of Obi-Wan’s arm is covered with letters. Anakin is practically begging Obi-Wan for a reply but Obi-Wan cannot formulate an answer. 

_I blew up the station. We won!_

_Please say something._

_The queen wants to see you._

_There was a green goblin who spoke to me. I had met him in the Jedi room._

_He told me about Qui-Gon._

_I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry._

Obi-Wan meets Yoda in the turret room of the Theed palace. He kneels in the center of the room as Yoda paces around him. 

“Sorry for your loss, the Council is. Know you were close to Qui-Gon, we do.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“But sense the presence of the Dark Side in you, I do.”

“I will admit I had a brush with the Dark. It was… difficult to stay calm when fighting a Sith over the body of my former master. But I assure you, I have not fallen.”

Yoda hums in contemplation and walks in silence for a few moments. “Confer on you, the level of Jedi Knight the Council does. But agree on you taking this boy as your Padawan learner, I do not.”

Obi-Wan watches his grandmaster quietly. “Qui-Gon believed in him. I believe in Qui-Gon.” **Lie.**

Yoda scoffs. “The Chosen One the boy may be; nevertheless, grave danger I fear in his training.”

“Master Yoda, I gave Qui-Gon my word. I will train Anakin. Without the approval of the Council if I must.”

Yoda pauses, then continues to pace. “Qui-Gon's defiance I sense in you. Need that, you do not. Agree, the Council does. Your apprentice, young Skywalker will be.”

“Thank you, Master.”

Yoda walks out and Obi-Wan remains. He mulls over the events of the past days and then pulls out a pen. Anakin has covered almost every part of his arm, forcing him to write on the palm of his hand. The tip of the pen is cold on his hand, a far cry from the hot sadness that simmers under his skin.

_We will talk at Qui-Gon’s funeral._

_Okay_. 

* * *

The funeral is a large affair, relatively speaking. Jedi funerals are normally a private matter, with the members of the Council the deceased was closest to all present, along with the living members of the lineage. Qui-Gon’s is atypical. Even in death, he strayed off the beaten path. The queen is there, out of obligation and gratitude to the Master. There are Gungans. Most of the Council is there as well. 

As is customary, the former Padawan stands at the head of the body. His new Padawan and soulmate stands next to him. Anakin is fidgeting and his nerves are infectious. Obi-Wan places a soothing hand on his shoulder and the boy stills. With his Padawan at ease, Obi-Wan begins the ceremony. As he speaks, he observes the attendees. 

The young queen’s eye makeup is streaked with tears. Her eyes have not left the body since it was placed on the pyre. Her handmaidens crowd around her, their shoulders hunched in sorrow. Orange surrounds black, offering warmth to Padmé Amidala. 

“You came into the Force a child. Now you leave it a Master.

Through the fire you return to the Force. 

We who live on remember you through the Force.”

Senator Palpatine stands with Sio Bibble. The soft yellow light washes over his face, expressionless. Bibble’s expression is somber, his attention fixed on Obi-Wan.

The Council joins in, a symphony of voices laced with grief and hope. “I will follow you in the Force one day, but today I live.”

Ki-Adi stands next to Plo Koon. Robes pulled tight around his body, Ki-Adi looks like he is trying to protect himself from the grief of the people surrounding him. Tear lines mark his face as he tries to project an aura of peace. Plo Koon moves closer to the other Jedi, putting a steadying hand on his shoulder. 

Only Obi-Wan. “ _Tonbrei enoah foh midaial, gototo kat tonbrei 1 _.”

“ _Tonbrei enoah foh midaial, gototo kat tonbrei_ .  _Eno Dai veshah keelel mellu im tamah foh veshah keelel_ 2 .” 

The mantra ends. Master Windu hands Obi-Wan a torch blazing with blue fire. Clutching Qui-Gon’s lightsaber in one hand and the torch in the other, Obi-Wan lights Qui-Gon’s lightsaber and lifts it. 

“Go with the Force, Master Jinn.”

Around him, dozens of lightsabers light and follow suit, echoing the young Knight. 

He extinguishes the lightsaber and places it gently in Qui-Gon’s hands. He leans over his head and places a kiss to his Master’s forehead, then presses his forehead to Qui-Gon’s. Then he places the torch on Qui-Gon’s chest and steps back. 

Flames lick across Qui-Gon’s body, soothing in their destruction, they release Qui-Gon lovingly to the Force. 

Mace Windu and Yoda are huddled close to each other, like they are conspiring. Mace is hunched over, sitting next to the older master. Yoda stares at the pyre, the lines in his face getting deeper in the fluctuating light. 

Obi-Wan turns his attention to the young boy beside him, who cries quietly for the man who released him from slavery. He places his hand gently on Anakin’s back, rubbing in small, circular motions. 

“He is one with the Force, Anakin. You must let him go.”

“What will happen to me now?”

“I am your Master now. You will become a Jedi Knight, Anakin. I promise.”

Anakin smiles at the new Knight. Obi-Wan returns the smile, even though his heart isn’t in it. He looks back into the flames and makes a silent promise. _Anakin will be the best knight in the Order._

Obi-Wan feels flames lick his bones. Glancing at Anakin, the boy looks at him with tears in his eyes and a soft grin on his face. Warmth runs under his skin.

_Let’s do this, Master._

* * *

  1. _T_ _onbrei enoah foh midaial, gototo kat tonbrei_ :“One with the Force, part of the whole.” The first tonbrei is fronted for emphasis, while the second is present to emphasize the concept of wholeness.  [ ▲ ]
  2. _Eno Dai veshah keelel mellu im tamah foh veshah keelel :_ "May the Force be with you." [ ▲ ]



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a heavy chapter for me to write. Many thanks to the Dai Bendu Tumblr for helping me translate my funeral rites into Dai Bendu. I strayed from canon for the funeral because it always seemed really flat to me. And this is my fic and I do what I want. Anyways, one more chapter and then the good stuff really begins! 
> 
> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Join me and send me prompts! 
> 
> https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 35 when the Clone Wars begin.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 35 when the Clone Wars begin.

It has been ten years since Obi-Wan took Anakin as his Padawan. Ten beautiful, wonderful years as Obi-Wan watched Anakin grow into a powerful Force wielder and an even more caring friend. In that time, they have gotten into many sticky situations. But this is among the trickiest. Obi-Wan has been tasked with hunting Padmé Amidala’s would-be assassin. A simple enough task for a Jedi of his caliber, unfortunately for him, the archives are incomplete. He does manage to stumble upon a clone army, which is interesting. 

_Tell Master Yoda that things got interesting._

_No can do Master, I’m not on Coruscant right now. Your mind fails you in your old age._

Blast. He had forgotten that Anakin had been dispatched to Naboo to protect Senator Amidala. Ten years later and Anakin was just as sassy as Obi-Wan was at that age. Nevertheless, it brought Obi-Wan no small amount of joy to see the blue ink, a constant in their lives. Obi-Wan is still thinking of his soulmate when he calls Master Yoda. 

Receiving the all clear, Obi-Wan tracks the bounty hunter Jango Fett and his eerily similar son to the planet Geonosis. He’s managed to stumble into a Separatist base, unearthing a plot to go to war. In all his Jedi wisdom, he hightails it out of there, racing back to his ship, ripping his pen out from its secure location in his belt and jotting out a message quickly. He would send a holo too, but always best to cover your bases, Obi-Wan reasons. After all, Anakin will likely need a reminder to stay put. 

_On Geonosis. In trouble. Send my message to the Council. STAY WHERE YOU ARE._

_Master?_

_Just do it!_

_Okay_. 

Obi-Wan is so distracted, he almost doesn’t feel the rage and anger surging through their bond. Almost. He sighs, a problem for another day. When he reaches his shuttle, he has R4 prep a transmission. Next thing he knows, he is hanging suspended in an electric field being taunted by his former master’s former master. 

“Traitor! However, I’m glad to see that your beard is the same. It hasn’t aged a day, unlike you.” 

Obi-Wan pays for that with a small shock but grins anyways. It confirms what he had already known: there is someone on the other side of the wall and they are closely allied with the former Jedi. Count Dooku looks none too pleased with Obi-Wan’s sass, but pushes on presenting a facade of surprise. 

“Hello, my friend. This is a mistake. A terrible mistake. They've gone too far. This is madness.”

“I thought you were the leader here, Dooku.”

“This had nothing to do with me, I assure you. I promise you I will petition immediately to have you set free.”

“Well, I hope it doesn't take too long. I have work to do.”

“May I ask why a Jedi Knight is all the way out here on Geonosis?”

“I've been tracking a bounty hunter named Jango Fett. Do you know him?”

“There are no bounty hunters here that I'm aware of. Geonosians don't trust them.”

“Well, who can blame them. But he is here, I can assure you.”

“It's a great pity that our paths have never crossed before, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon always spoke very highly of you. I wish he were still alive. I could use his help right now.” Dooku's voice was mournful, as if remembering times long past. 

“Qui-Gon Jinn would never join you.” Even as he said that, Obi-Wan could feel the doubt of the validity of that statement seep into his mind. 

“Don't be so sure, my young Jedi. You forget that he was once my apprentice just as you were once his. He knew all about the corruption in the Senate, but he would never have gone along with it if he had known the truth as I have.”

“The truth?” He raises one perfectly shaped eyebrow, cocking his head. 

“The truth.” Count Dooku’s conviction shakes Obi-Wan. The fallen Jedi pauses, analyzing Obi-Wan’s face. “What if I told you that the Republic was now under the control of the Dark Lords of the Sith?”

“No, that's not possible. The Jedi would be aware of it.” 

“The dark side of the Force has clouded their vision, my friend. Hundreds of Senators are now under the influence of a Sith Lord called Darth Sidious.”

“I don't believe you.”

“The Viceroy of the Trade Federation was once in league with this Darth Sidious. But he was betrayed ten years ago by the Dark Lord. He came to me for help. He told me everything. The Jedi Council would not believe him. I tried many times to warn them but they wouldn't listen to me. Once they sensed the Dark Lord's presence, it would then be too late. You must join me, Obi-Wan, and together we will destroy the Sith.”

“I will never join you, Dooku.”

Dooku sighs, disappointed, and turns to leave.

“It may be difficult to secure your release.”

“It must be difficult to live with your face!”

Not one of his better quips, but he is a bit tied up at the moment. As the door closes, Obi-Wan lets his head fall to his chest. Closing his eyes, he tries to connect to the Force, but his connection seems to be dulled. Instead of the roaring ocean of power present in his mind, there is only a gentle trickle. _Force suppressants_ , he curses as he tugs, trying futilely to escape. He tries to reach out for Anakin and is pleased when he feels the comfort of Anakin nestling against his wards. At least he isn't really alone. He never is. Obi-Wan hangs there for a while, contemplating the odds of his survival and debating how long it would take Anakin to come charging in stupidly. About 3 minutes later, he has his answer. A familiar fire licks his bones and he cranes his neck, trying to see what Anakin has done. 

_On our way. Stay put._

“Where else am I supposed to go?” he asks an empty and uncaring room. He receives no reply. 

A few hours later, Obi-Wan is roused from a rather relaxing nap by Geonosians speaking and the sound of super battle droids. He groans, neck stiff, and raises his head. Dooku joins them, sweeping in, followed closely by Poggle the Lesser. 

“Master Kenobi. We are here to conduct your trial. Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

“Oh, we're being civilized? That’s nice. I thought the only refined thing about you was your beard and maybe your outdated fashion sense.”

Dooku nods to some unknown party and electricity sparks through his body. He grits his teeth, determined not to give Poggle the satisfaction of hearing him scream. When the muscle spasms stop, he stares Dooku down. Daring him to do his worst. 

“That tickled. I expected more.”

Poggle growls, raising his hand. Obi-Wan braces himself, but Dooku intervenes. 

“You’re stalling, Kenobi. Let us proceed. You are being charged with espionage and treason against the independence of the Geonosian system. How do you plead?”

“Is devilishly handsome an option? AHHH!” Electricity volts through his body. He wasn't prepared for it this time and lets out a scream. But the pain was almost worth it for the displeased expression on the Count’s face. Anakin pokes at his mind, worried. Obi-Wan would have smiled if he wasn't being tortured. 

“I ask again, how do you plead?”

Sighing, Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. “Guilty, I suppose. You're going to execute me either way, might as well go out with a shred of dignity.” 

Poggle looks ready to kill him. Good. Obi-Wan takes pleasure from the simple things in life, like witnessing the irritation of idiots. Dooku merely looks disappointed, as if he suspects that Obi-Wan would have reconsidered his earlier words. Obi-Wan is puzzled by this. He had felt the call of the dark before but it would never shake him. He was a youngling when Dooku was still in the temple. In that time, Obi-Wan had been known as a calm and strong presence in the light. It was interesting to the young Jedi now that Dooku believes that he could be swayed so easily. 

_Master, we are on the planet._ _We found a side entrance_. He does not risk looking, but feels the message appear. The accompanying reassurance through their training bond tells Obi-Wan all he needs to know about his Padawan’s foolhardy plan. 

The words appear on Obi-Wan’s hand and circle around to his arm. Poggle, who has been flitting anxiously around the chamber, sees the markings and says something to Dooku. Dooku gestures and Obi Wan's hand is released. Dooku reaches into the field and grabs Obi-Wan’s hand, pushing up his sleeve. He tries to pull away. Dooku shoots a jolt into him and he stills. Glaring at Dooku, Obi-Wan can do nothing as he reads the message. 

“This is most intriguing. What is this?” Dooku studies Obi-Wan’s face and he quickly assumes an expression of innocent bewilderment. 

“Force knows. These random messages just appear on my arm. I’ve been meaning to get it checked out. Do you think I need to go to medical?”

His body screams in agony as the restraints circling his wrists crackle. Panting, he quips, “Well, now I really need to go to medical. I could have brain damage.”

Poggle growls something at Dooku, who responds with, “Send a squadron of super battle droids and droidekas to check the side entrances. Kenobi is here and this means Skywalker is most likely behind him. This message, if it is true, confirms it. Find him. Unfortunately, Obi-Wan, you have been found guilty of espionage and treason against the Geonosian state. You will be executed. Take him away.”

A few Geonosians grab Obi-Wan’s arms and the field releases. Despite the support of the Geonosian guards, Obi-Wan collapses to the floor. He groans and then yelps as he is yanked away. 

* * *

Obi-Wan finds himself in yet another sticky situation. He is brought to a colosseum, paraded around in a chariot like a fallen king about to be beheaded. Then he is chained to a pole, hands above his head. He shifts uncomfortably. There have been no other messages from Anakin, but judging by the spike of panic that shot through their bond half an hour ago, Anakin will likely be finding his way to where Obi-Wan is. Whether he wants to or not. Geonosians begin to enter the arena en masse, coming to witness the execution of a Jedi. 

Not five minutes later, Anakin and the Senator come out of a tunnel. They have just finished a rather passionate kiss. Obi-Wan decides that if they get out of this, he will not mention it. The boy would need some happiness. As the chariot passes, Obi-Wan watches it with a passive expression. At least Anakin has the dignity to look chagrined. 

“I was beginning to wonder if you had gotten my message.”

“I retransmitted it as you requested, Master. Then we decided to come and rescue you.”

Obi-Wan scoffed and looked at his arms, chained above his head and decidedly not rescued. 

“Good job!”

Anakin rolls his eyes and allows his hands to be chained. Obi-Wan watches his Padawan, who looks tense and worn. They are going to need to have a talk. If they get out of this, Obi-Wan decides that he will get Anakin some cookies. He deserves them. 

The crowd roars. Obi-Wan looks to the balcony overlooking the arena. Poggle the Lesser and Count Dooku appear, followed closely by Newt Gunray. Obi-Wan groans in annoyance. Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any worse. Senator Amidala’s old enemy shows up, likely demanding her head on a pike. The trio takes their positions and Poggle the Lesser addresses the crowd. Judging by their reactions, Poggle has just ordered the executions to begin. Obi-Wan focused his attention on the large gates across from the disaster trio. They creak open, revealing a Nexu, Reek, and Acklay. The shrieks and roars of the creatures echo, overshadowing the roar of the crowd. Obi-Wan sighs. 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Anakin’s stare is transfixed on the horned quadruped being herded his way. 

“If you had stayed on Naboo… I’m not going to finish that sentence. You know what you did.” Obi-Wan gets some brief satisfaction from the shame and regret radiating off of Anakin. “Just relax. Concentrate.”

“What about Padmé?”

Obi-Wan scoffs at his Padawan's obvious feelings for the Senator but indulges him. “She seems to be on top of things.” 

Padmé, in a feat of athletics not many senators these days are capable of, is halfway through scaling the pole she was chained to. Obi-Wan notices with a flash of admiration that she appears to have picked the lock on her chains. 

The creatures charge and Obi-Wan refocuses on the task at hand: staying alive. He doesn’t have a lightsaber but he does have his wits. He feels the Force sing for a moment and registers dozens of Light Force presences scattered through the audience. Reinforcements. But now, he is on his own. 

The green, six-legged ankley fixes its eyes on Obi-Wan and races forward, legs barely touching the ground in its eagerness to reach its next meal. Obi-Wan leaps out of the way and the pincer snaps his chains. Following the motion of his leap, he whirls, turning to face the creature, hands raised defensively. The creature stabs at him. He dodges. Then his foot slips, he falls. The ankley continues to try and skewer him. 

Cursing the string of events that put him in this position, he rolls. The creature skitters around him. Obi-Wan tucks and rolls behind the pillar, using it as a shield. Undeterred, the creature slams into it. With a sickening crack, it falls. _Oh not good._ He throws himself to the side. The dust billows. He rises, staring in shock at the mound of stone in front of him. The creature shrieks. Then he takes off running. The ankley follows, loudly shrieking its displeasure. _It is likely used to an easy meal_ , Obi-Wan muses, sprinting away as fast as he can. _Unfortunate that the creatures were being treated this way._

He reaches one of the herders, gripping the spear and yanking it out of their hand, bringing them down. Beast meets beast and the ankley prevails. Obi-Wan’s blood is racing, singing. He whips the handler and their head snaps. They fall, groaning. The ankley stalks forward, impaling the handler. Obi-Wan backs away, clutching the spear. It advances. He runs. 

Putting some distance between himself and the creature, he turns. The spider-like creature delicately traverses the arena in pursuit. He tests the weight of the spear and prepares. Planting his feet, he stabs. Man and beast, engaged in a deadly dance. The spear flashes, hurtling through the air, embedding in flesh. The ankley seems nonplussed, grabbing the invasive object and pulling it out. In another terrifying display of strength, it snaps the spear and blinks hungrily at Obi-Wan. _Oh even worse._ He is running again. _Fellow Jedi, you can step in, ANYTIME!_

He runs towards Anakin who has managed to tame his monster. Leaping up, he lands gracefully behind the senator. Together, they circle the arena, keeping well away from the spear-wielding Geonosians and ankley. Obi-Wan hears metallic clicking and looks towards the gates. Droidekas. They encircle the beast, ready to kill. 

The droids advance and Obi-Wan looks fervently around for something, _anything_ that could help them. “Got any ideas?” 

“No, Master, I thought you made the plans.”

“Don’t you remember? I’m getting senile in my old age!”

The Force presences flare and the tell-tale glow of dozens of lightsabers fills the air. Relief washes over Obi-Wan, heightened by Anakin. They wait, nerves frayed. Obi-Wan looks towards the balcony, where Dooku appears to be conversing with someone. He sees a flash of purple. _Windu_. 

The purple streaks through the air, trailed by fire. Battle droids swarm the arena. Anakin nudges the beast into action and they take off, fleeing towards the reassuring Jedi line. Two Jedi throw the pair lightsabers. Anakin cuts Obi-Wan’s restraints. A green pulse ripples through the arena. It spooks the reek, who bucks. Obi-Wan lands gracefully and looks around, easily deflecting blaster bolts. He picks a squad of droids and advances, easily cutting through their ranks. They back up and Obi-Wan twirls his lightsaber. He presses his advantage. Making his way through the arena, he finds himself back to back with Windu. Together they fight, protecting each other. A guttural roar breaks the sound of blaster fire. The reek, no longer pacified, has set its sights on them. It barrels past Obi-Wan, knocking him down. He rolls then leaps up. Deflecting bolt after bolt, he weaves through the sea of droids and bodies. There is no time to mourn. He advances on a group of droids who back away. He feels a tinge of satisfaction. Then he realizes they aren’t looking at him. They are looking… up. _Oh no_. He spins on his heel as a shadow falls over him. The ankley has found his designated meal. 

This time is different though. This time, Obi-Wan is armed and deadly. Spinning and dodging, he cuts off one, two legs. The creature squeals and staggers. It falls. With a flourish, he stabs down into the carapace. The life leaves the ankley with a final scream. He takes a moment and wipes the sweat from his face. A bolt whizzes by and he ducks, whirling around in a deadly blue blur. More droids pour into the arena, an avalanche of metal and death. He retreats. Backing steadily towards the mass of Jedi coalescing in the center of the arena. There is safety in numbers. 

But of the dozens who came, only thirteen (and the Senator) remain. They form a circle. Guarding. Deflecting. There are too many. Surrounded. The fire stops. The weary Jedi relax. Dooku speaks. Obi-Wan ignores him. He crouches next to a fallen Jedi, softly touching his face. Seeking a Force presence that is not there. He falls back on teachings, softly reciting a quick funeral rite. 

“You have lived in the Force and the Force welcomes you now. Though you were taken too soon, rest now. Go with the Force, my friend.”

He stands, panting. Dooku’s voice rings out, a taunt. Back and forth he walks, keeping his body in motion. Trying to block out the grief of the Force, the death surrounding him. While death is a natural part of life, to be welcomed when it comes, that does not make it any less painful. And these Jedi were taken too soon. Ripped from the Force. He takes comfort in the thought that they will have peace. 

“We will not be hostages to be bartered, Dooku.” Even in an impossible situation, Mace Windu’s voice commands attention. 

“Then…” Dooku seems genuinely sad and Obi-Wan’s face contorts into a small snarl. “I’m sorry, old friend.” The battle droids raise their weapons. Obi-Wan tenses as he assumes a defensive stance. The silence stretches for a moment. 

“Look!” 

Senator Amidala’s voice rings out. Obi-Wan follows her voice and gaze. Breaking through the hazy sky over the arena is a fleet of ships. But these are not droid ships, no. They are shiny and new. Any confusion over their presence is quickly remedied when the guns begin firing on the droids. The battle resumes. Obi-Wan holds his position, deflecting bolt after bolt. This does not last long as the ships descend. Circling like vultures, a few ships for a protective circle around the surviving Jedi. 

Men in shining white body armor flood out of the gunships, picking up where the Jedi cannot. A chill runs down his spine. _Clones_. Obi-Wan sees the smug face of master Yoda gazing at them from one of the ships. He shakes his head and follows Anakin onto one of the ships. The ship lifts off and Obi-Wan has a moment to breathe. 

“Where did these troops come from?” Senator Amidala’s voice is breathy but relieved. There is an undercurrent to it, a sharp accusatory note. 

“My investigation into the threat on your life led me to Kamino, where I discovered a Grand Army of the Republic. Apparently, it is made entirely of clones of the bounty hunter who was commissioned to kill you. I wonder if that should worry us.” Obi-Wan glances at the clones, who appear not to have heard him. 

“I don’t like this. Who commissioned this army, who funded them?” Senator Amidala presses the issue. 

“Senator, with all due respect, let's not look a gift bantha in the mouth. This army is the only reason we are still alive.”

Blaster fire comes hurtling up from the ground and the ship rocks. “Hold on,” he yells, grabbing onto one of the straps hanging down. Directly ahead of them is a cluster of droid launch vehicles. 

“Aim right above the fuel cells,” Anakin commands. Obi-Wan doesn’t stop to marvel at how quickly he stepped into the role of commander. He doesn’t stop to consider how young Anakin is. He doesn’t stop to consider the danger that this could put him in. 

The monumental structure collapses. 

“Good call, my young Padawan!” Anakin smiles softly, inclining his head. _Force, he is so young_. Obi-Wan diverts his attention elsewhere to avoid spiraling down a sinkhole of despair and regret. He sees Federation starships ahead. 

“Attack those Federation starships, quickly.” Obi-Wan points and the pilot nods. 

Under Anakin’s guidance, the pilot steers theirs towards the droid control centers that are gearing for lift off. Rattling off commands like he was born for it, Anakin directs the gunner to target specific areas of the ships. The orb-like structures shudder as explosions wreck them from the inside out and then sink into the ground. The dust generated coats his lungs and he can’t breathe. He can’t see. He feels Anakin next to him as the dust settles. They circle the battle field, doing their best to help the ground turrets take out droids and ships alike. As they reach the far side of the staging area, Obi-Wan spots a small speeder being shadowed by two small ships. 

“Look over there!” _Dooku._

Anakin follows his gaze and arrives at the same conclusion. “It’s Dooku. Shoot him down!”

“We are out of rockets, sir.”

Obi-Wan feels his and Anakin’s frustration building. “Follow him!” Anakin orders. 

Senator Amidala, ever the voice of reason, interjects, “We’re gonna need some help.”

She’s right. She knows it, Anakin knows it, Obi-Wan knows it. But there isn’t time. “There isn’t time! Anakin and I can handle this!” 

He senses Anakin is eager for a fight. Eager to punish the man who put those he cares about in danger. Obi-Wan is eager too. Seeing Anakin in that arena made his blood boil. He remains calm, knowing that rash emotion will only hinder him. But the thought lurks in the back of his mind, a willowing “what if.” 

The two shuttles trailing Dooku peel off and loop behind them, becoming hunter instead of prey. The pilot expertly dodges their shots, until one gets too close. An explosion rocks the ship. Senator Amidala cries out as she and a trooper tumble out the open doors of the ship into the soft sand below. 

“PADMÉ!” Anakin screams, looking feral, as if he is going to leap after her. “PUT THE SHIP DOWN!” _Oh, he IS going to leap after her_ , Obi-Wan realizes. _I have to intervene. I can’t do this alone_. 

He leaps over to where Anakin stands. His hand reaches desperately towards the senator’s prone form. “ANAKIN. ANAKIN. _ANKAI’A_ , LOOK AT ME. Don’t let your personal feelings get in the way!” Later, he would regret the way he yelled. The way he scolded Anakin for having feelings that were perfectly natural. At that moment he was angry. There had been so much life lost, good innocent Jedi who deserved a peaceful life in the Temple and serving the galaxy. They would never have that. And it was all because of one man. One man who was getting away. “Follow that speeder!” he commands. 

Explosions rock the air around them, their blasts only contributing to the stress the men are feeling. Anakin’s eyes are still transfixed on her shrinking body. “Lower the ship!”

Obi-Wan feels panic rise up in his chest. He is a good Jedi, a good swordsman. He knows this. Anakin knows this. But Dooku… Dooku is in a league of his own. He knows that if he faces Dooku alone, he will not live to tell the tale. And he cannot bear the thought of Anakin having to live in guilt at his death. 

“I can’t take Dooku alone! I NEED you!” Anakin’s eyes are red-rimmed from the dust and tears. Obi-Wan repeats his words while pushing calming emotions through their bond. Fervently trying to convince Anakin to see logic. “I need you! If we catch him, we can end this war right now! We have a job to do!”

They are not soldiers. They were never meant to be soldiers. They are peacekeepers. But Jedi adapt. This event could become a war. If Anakin and Obi-Wan can catch Dooku, they could stop it. He can feel Anakin’s resolve wavering even as he cries. 

“I don’t care, put the ship down.” 

Obi-Wan wants to say he knows. He wants to say he understands. He wants to tell the boy that he loved as Anakin loves now. That he would have left the order for someone. That he would have left a battlefield for. But he doesn’t. 

“You will be expelled from the Jedi Order!”

“I can’t leave her!”

“Come to your senses! What do you think Padmé would do if she were in your position?” He knows that this argument will work and it does. He knows his Padawan.  
  
Chest heaving with emotion, Anakin’s jaw tenses then relaxes. “She would do her duty.”

Obi-Wan nods, satisfied. He turns and instructs the pilot to stay on Dooku’s tail. Anakin’s frustration and anger assaults him from all sides of the Force. He hates this feeling. He hates knowing that Anakin feels helpless. So he hurriedly checks his belt pouches for a pen. He finds his original blue. The casing is cracked and some ink has spilled into the pocket but it is mostly functional. He tests it on the inside of his sleeve and is relieved when it works.

_She will be okay. She is stronger than you give her credit for._

For a few moments there is no response and Obi-Wan glances over his shoulder. Anakin’s shoulders are shaking softly but his arms are not in sight. A few moments later, a response fades into view. 

_I know. I’m sorry Master. I just…_

_I understand. It is alright to have these feelings. As long as you know when to let go._

Anakin’s shoulders still and his head comes up. He turns and looks at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan smiles hesitantly and Anakin smiles back. The tension they both feel is suffocating. There is destruction all around them. They are in pursuit of a Sith lord who has the potential to kill them. But at this moment, they are enough. 

Obi-Wan falls into a light trance, one hand wrapped around a handle, the other on Anakin’s shoulder. He centers himself, releasing his anger and frustration into the Force. Anakin’s fingers close around his and his eyes snap open. They have arrived. 

Together, they ignite their lightsabers and leap off the ship onto the landing pad. Together, they run forward, feet hitting the ground in unison. Together, they prepare to confront a Sith lord. 

It goes about as well as can be expected. 

The corridor leading into Dooku’s sanctum twists but presents a clear path. Neither man says anything. The only sounds are the echoes of footfalls on ground, a steady cadence matching Obi-Wan’s heartbeat. Echoes fade as the corridor opens into a larger chamber. There is a ship and Obi-Wan sees Dooku dismissing a droid. The fallen Jedi hears them coming and turns. Obi-Wan slows to a walk, holding his arm out in front of Anakin. 

Slowing, Anakin follows his lead. He is perpetually in motion though, a trait left over from childhood that was only enhanced by his Jedi training. He begins pacing. “You’re going to pay for all the Jedi you killed, Dooku.”

Obi-Wan winces at the wording. He can’t say he disagrees. But… the way he says it. There is a hint of Dark leaching into his tone. A subtle need for revenge. It’s… unsettling. Too close to what Obi-Wan had felt ten years ago. He shoves the thought aside, easily filing it away in the growing pile of thoughts labeled, “problems for future Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan follows Anakin’s movements. His eyes never leave Dooku. Strategizing. “We’ll take him together. You go in slowly on the left, I’ll–”

Anakin interrupts angrily, “No, I’m taking him NOW!” With that, he charges forward. 

“NO, ANAKIN, NO, NO!” Obi-Wan tries futilely to stop his wayward Padawan to no avail. 

He watches helplessly as Dooku merely raises his hand and sends arcing blue lightning at Anakin. It would be beautiful if Obi-Wan didn’t know what was coming. Anakin is not ready. His guard is down. He has no defense. The lightning hits him in a shocking display. Anakin screams. Dooku smiles darkly as he uses the Force in unison with the lightning. Anakin is lifted off the ground and slammed into the wall. The thud as he lands stabs straight through Obi-Wan’s heart. Dooku turns his attention to Obi-Wan, having dealt with the upstart Padawan. He ignores Dooku for a moment. Anakin is smoking. He lies quivering in a heap on the ground. But his chest is rising and falling. He is still alive and Obi-Wan’s body fills with relief and rage. Obi-Wan files his rage away. He raises his lightsaber and begins moving in a circle, trying to flank Dooku. Dooku moves away to match. 

“As you see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now… back down.” Dooku’s deep baritone rings through the chamber. He raises his hand slowly, intending to do to Obi-Wan what he did to Anakin. But Obi-Wan is ready. 

He deflects the lightning easily. “I don’t think so.” Obi-Wan’s voice is steady. 

Dooku dramatically ignites his lightsaber. Obi-Wan charges forward. Blades flash. A beautiful deadly ritual of mutually assured destruction. Obi-Wan spins away, grunting. 

Dooku follows, eyes glittering in the dim light. He drawls, “Master Kenobi, you disappoint me. Yoda holds you in such high esteem.”

He swings violently and Obi-Wan ducks out of the way. He swings again. Their blades meet. 

“Surely you can do BETTER!” Dooku bites off the word ‘better’. He is trying to goad Obi-Wan into making a mistake. 

Obi-Wan breaks the lock. Blue meets metal in a shower of sparks as Obi-Wan leaps over the ramp to Dooku’s ship. He hears Anakin groan. Even though he knows that Anakin isn’t dead, the sound still reassures Obi-Wan. 

They go back and forth in this dance. Spinning, blocking, dodging, parrying. Advancing, stabbing, slashing. Their blades and eyes lock. Obi-Wan pushes with all his might, trying to force Dooku’s blade down. It’s working. Dooku’s face splits in a manic grin as he breaks the lock. Obi-Wan’s arm is burning, throbbing. He cries out. He drops his lightsaber and Dooku strikes. Obi-Wan’s leg is on fire. He falls, crying out in pain. Dooku raises his lightsaber, triumphant, ready to strike Obi-Wan down. Obi-Wan closes his eyes. He prepares for death. _I’m sorry Anakin._

It never comes. 

A guttural scream pierces the air. Anakin. Obi-Wan opens his eyes to the welcome sight of Anakin’s green lightsaber clashing with red. Dooku is talking. He ignores it. Too focused on the lightsaber across the floor. He needs to get that lightsaber to Anakin. Gritting through the pain, he reaches out. It wiggles. He clenches his teeth and tries harder. Slowly, too slowly, it comes to him. He has it. 

“Anakin!” He chucks it as far as he can. Now Anakin has it. Dooku will be forced to fight a deadly swordsman with two lightsabers. 

He takes comfort in that fact. But he feels useless. Obi-Wan can’t be useless. He hates feeling useless. Just extra baggage, a burden. He has felt like a burden for most of his life. But then Anakin, who needed him, who _WANTED_ him. Anakin, who makes him feel safe. Anakin, who cherishes him not for his skill, but for who he is. He needs to get to Anakin. 

His body betrays him. He tries to get up, to get to Anakin, to _HELP,_ limbs screaming in protest as his heart screams back. Obi-Wan falls back, panting. He… he can’t. He failed. The lights flicker and go out. Gasping for air, he strains. He can’t see Anakin. He closes his eyes and reaches out through their bond. 

Anakin is stressed. Hyper-fixated on Dooku and making him pay. He ignores Obi-Wan’s presence in favor of the duel. Opening his eyes, he watches his Padawan as the duelists come back into view. Black blurs into black as red meets blue. Anakin is graceful, lithe and aggressive. Dooku is calculating, steady and strategic. Obi-Wan marvels at his Padawan’s stamina. He had barely lasted three minutes. But Anakin? Anakin, his Padawan, his _ankai’a_? He is giving Dooku a run for his credits. 

Obi-Wan watches the duel in morbid fascination. He has never really had a chance to observe the swordsman Anakin has become. Every move exudes clarity and controlled savagery. Obi-Wan’s body is filled with a terrible chill. _He has forged Anakin into a weapon._

He can’t believe he never noticed it before. They had fought together often enough. Defending and protecting each other, not just from physical danger, but mental and emotional distress as well. Obi-Wan has never seen this level of ferocity in his Padawan. Anakin is so… gentle. They have shared tents and cramped spaces. They have exchanged soft words in the dead of night. Something has changed in his Padawan. It is as clear as the murderous intent on Anakin’s face as he faces Dooku. 

But then he makes a mistake. Obi-Wan watches in mute horror. 

Liquid fire erupts in Obi-Wan’s veins. His arm. No, not… not his arm. Anakin’s. He feels the pain before he hears Anakin’s scream. Dooku shoves Anakin back and he skids across the floor. Anakin lands with a thud on Obi-Wan’s leg. Obi-Wan’s mind is flooded with phantom pain. Logically, he knows it isn’t his pain. Logically, he knows that it is a side effect of the close bond they share. Logically, he knows he can shut it out. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t because he hopes that if Anakin shares the pain, it will make it less for him. Anakin’s eyes are closed. His arm is gently smoking. Obi-Wan’s eyes latch onto Dooku. Breathing heavily but unable to move, he can only watch as Dooku stalks forward, reveling in the fact that he has two Jedi at his mercy. Two Jedi who are supposed to be among the best in the Order. Dooku doesn’t strike, however. He looks… sad. As if this event had confirmed some dark hypothesis that Dooku fears knowing the results of. He just stares at the prone forms of Obi-Wan and Anakin. Obi-Wan stares back, wishing he could do more. He’s helpless. 

Dooku turns around suddenly. He hears something Obi-Wan does not. Obi-Wan reaches out through the Force and feels familiarity. This presence feels like the Jedi Temple. It feels like a summer’s day in the Room of 1,000 Fountains. It feels like meditation and consistency. Only one Jedi feels like that to him. Master Yoda. 

Dooku confirms it, drawing to his full height and uttering the name with a barely-hidden vehemence. 

“Master Yoda.” 

Reassured by the knowledge that the head of the Order has stepped in, Obi-Wan turns his attention back to his padawan. He closes his eyes and falls back on the teachings of the Jedi. _Daieno bika 1 _ _._ The Force surrounds him and Anakin, cooing gently. It whispers sweet nothings and reassurances in his mind and guides him into a meditation. He keeps one inner-eye trained on the battle between Dooku and Yoda. The other he turns inward, following the singing threads that connect him to Anakin. He follows them as deep as they go, until he is stopped by Anakin’s shields. Gently, he bombards the barrier with emotion and apologies. _Heleo 2_ _. Heleo, Anakin. Heleo, Ankai’a . I’m sorry I was useless. I’m sorry I allowed harm to come to you. I’m sorry. Heleo._ Gradually, Anakin becomes aware of his presence. He repeats the apology over and over. Anakin lowers his shields and allows Obi-Wan in. The older man immediately seeks out the little flame that flickers in the center of Anakin’s consciousness. He opens his ball of light in a silent offering and the flame darts forward. 

**I’m here. You’re safe. I will get you out of here. I promise.** **_Ikio 3._ ** **_._ ** **I’m so proud of you.**

The little flame radiates warmth and understanding. **I know you will** **_,_ ** it seems to say, **I trust you.**

They stay curled around each other. Obi-Wan wraps Anakin in a blanket of comfort. Subconsciously, his body moves to try and wrap around Anakin’s, to form a physical shield. They stay like this, Master and Padawan, one in the Force. 

The loud screeching of metal warping and breaking interrupts their peace. Obi-Wan jolts back into himself, looking up just in time to see one of the support pillars come crashing towards them. Once again, he braces for impact. His thoughts are only of his Padawan. If they die, he will have failed his Padawan again. He projects calm and comfort through their bond, keeping his true thoughts hidden. 

The impact never comes.

Obi-Wan flinches as sparks fly. His eyes fall upon Master Yoda. The ancient Jedi’s eyes are closed in concentration as he suspends the pillar above their heads. Yoda maneuvers the pillar away from the two men as Dooku’s ship makes its escape. Green eyes meet blue in mutual sadness and frustration. Then Anakin moves. Obi-Wan’s attention is immediately shifted to the groaning boy lying across his legs. His nerves have stopped screaming at him so he ever so slowly sits up and scoots towards his Padawan. Anakin’s head is lolling but he is conscious. Obi-Wan pulls the boy’s head onto his lap and softly runs his fingers down Anakin’s face. 

“You’re safe now,” he murmurs. “I’m so, so, sorry Anakin.”

Anakin doesn’t respond, but Obi-Wan knows that he hears and that he understands. Master Yoda hobbles over to the duo and shakes his head mournfully. 

“A tragedy, this was.”

“That’s an understatement, Master Yoda.”

Yoda only nods, wrapped in his own thoughts. At this moment, Padmé Amidala chooses to make her entrance. 

“Anakin!” She rushes towards them, followed by a small squad of clones. She kneels in front of Anakin, putting her hand on his chest. “Oh Ani, what has Dooku done to you?”

Obi-Wan resists the urge to lash out sarcastically. _I think it’s pretty kriffing clear what Dooku did._ He maneuvers his way out from under Anakin and stands up, with some help from the Senator. He can feel that Anakin needs some distance so he carefully helps Anakin up and transfers his weight to Padmé. With one last look, he hobbles over to the clones. One of them sees his struggle and rushes over. He offers his shoulder to Obi-Wan who gratefully accepts, looping one arm around the clone. Together, they limp over to the other clones.

“Thank you for coming. It’s never too late to make an attempt, I suppose.” 

Instead of being offended, the clones laugh uproariously. Despite his pain and exhaustion, the laughter is infectious and Obi-Wan finds himself joining in. A soft spot begins to grow in his heart for the clones. Then his left arm begins to burn soothingly and he extracts himself from the clone’s support. The writing on his arm is not Anakin’s. He looks over to where Anakin and Padmé stand and sees Padmé writing on Anakin’s arm while Anakin seemingly dictates.

_You are never useless to me. I should have listened to you. Heleo._

Obi-Wan looks back to Anakin who is staring intently at him, eyes filled with sorrow. Obi-Wan smiles and feels Anakin’s relief. He grabs onto the clone again. 

“Would you do me a favor....” Obi-Wan trails off, waiting for the trooper to fill in the blank with a name or some other form of address. 

“CT-7475, sir! My brothers call me Jamie.” The clo– Jamie’s voice is strained slightly but enthusiastic. 

“Well Jamie, would you do me a favor and help me walk over to Anakin?” 

Jamie nods and allows Obi-Wan to put most of his weight on them. They slowly make their way over to Anakin and the Senator, who are locked in a tight embrace. Obi-Wan gently clears his throat. The two leap apart and Anakin is instantly at his side. It seems adrenaline has kicked in slightly. _Or hormones_ , Obi-Wan can’t help thinking. Thanking the trooper, Anakin transfers Obi-Wan’s weight from Jamie to himself. The senator and trooper retreat, leaving the pair alone. 

“You look like shit, Master.”

“Speak for yourself, at least I have all my arms.”

“Fair point…” Anakin looks wistfully at the stump of his arm, scrunching his nose. “It hurts.”

“I know.”  
  


That is enough. Obi-Wan knows. Obi-Wan understands. Nothing more is said. Neither of them acknowledges the fight they had earlier. There is too much pain. They do not need to add emotional fuel to the fire. That is a conversation for another time. They slowly make their way out of the hanger to the waiting ship and medics. Reluctantly, they part, each surrendering to the treatment of the clones. The rest of the clones, along with Yoda and Senator Amidala come out of the structure and join them. The ship takes off, beginning the journey home. Obi-Wan takes another look at Anakin before drifting into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

A few weeks later, Anakin is on Naboo finishing his mission and Obi-Wan has some peace. He had not slept for three days after the Battle of Geonosis, much to the irritation of Master Edinn. In addition to suffering an “transradial ablation” (Edinn insisted upon using the proper terminology, Obi-Wan just came to refer to it as ‘below-the-elbow’ or ‘BE’ amputation), Anakin has been subjected to prolonged electric shock. Fortunately for the boy, Dooku knew how to regulate the voltage of his Sith lightning and apparently had merely been aiming to incapacitate. Still, he came out of it with some pretty nasty burns. Anakin was in such distress and pain over the loss of his arm and Obi-Wan was too anxious to sleep. Seeing his Padawan in bacta yet again made his heart ache. Fortunately, the Healing staff was well aware of Obi-Wan’s attachment to his Padawan and already have a semi-permanent pen waiting for him when they get the call that Anakin is injured. So Obi-Wan has spent the last three days sitting on a bed writing to his Padawan. He only stops when he remembers that his arm and leg have been injured. 

Edinn attends to the young man, applying bacta patches to his major injuries and some minor Force healing to his other wounds. Obi-Wan relaxes for the first time in what feels like months. 

“Thank you Edinn. I had forgotten about that.” He winces as the chilled bacta is applied to his bare arm. “Could they make this stuff any colder?”

“I’m sure I could arrange that the next time you are here.” Edinn’s voice is icier than the bacta. 

“I see you aren’t giving us the benefit of the doubt anymore.” 

Edinn paused what he was doing to glare at Obi-Wan. “You and I both know that it’s only a matter of time before I have you two here in these beds. Again.”

“No need to call me out on it, Edinn. I do have a suggestion. Maybe you just designate these beds as ours. We are certainly in here often enough.”

Edinn grumbles. “Don’t tempt me. Alright. You’re good to go. Keep… doing what you were doing, I suppose.”

Obi-Wan thanks the healer and continues to doodle on his arm. In between doodles, he looks at his Padawan, skin pale, eyes closed, braid swaying gently. Anakin’s arm is slowly encompassed by swirling lines, intricate patterns, interlocking shapes, soft words connecting them all together.

_Ankai’a._

_ Aunah keel tonbrei’ak fehl. 4_

_Rest well._

The days after Anakin comes out of the bacta are stressful. As usual, the bacta works wonders on his body, leaving very few scars. But the lack of Anakin’s right arm leaves a hole in both his and Obi-Wan’s heart. Although it is irrational, Obi-Wan knows that both he and Anakin will mourn the loss of his arm as if it is a child. For it is through their arms that they first met. Their arms have been a constant method of communication. It doesn’t matter to either of them that they only write on their left arms, it is the principle behind it. So they mourn. They mourn for the loss of innocence, for the first of many marks and scars that the war would bring. 

The Master and Padawan duo are in and out of the Halls of Healing for the next three weeks. After his arm is deemed healed and his mental condition deemed stable by the mind healers, Anakin has immediately set to work designing his prosthetic. He has always been good with metals and engineering, but Obi-Wan is amazed by the thought and care that goes into his new arm. When questioned, he always responds with, “I want to forget it’s not real.” 

Two weeks after he’s come out of bacta, he is back in it again. Having finished the design and construction of the connector, he undergoes surgery to affix the connector permanently to his arm. Obi-Wan is overwhelmed by the sheer amount of jargon and emotion that Anakin has been throwing around for the past week, seeing the fruits of his hard work make them both smile. Anakin spends the next week with Edinn, working on adjusting to his prosthetic. Obi-Wan is always five feet from him. When the procedures, tests, and physical therapy is complete, Anakin drags Obi-Wan out of the Halls of Healing. Obi-Wan wants to stay another few days, just to make sure that Anakin has made a full recovery. From the energy with which Anakin drags him out of the Halls, Obi-Wan can only conclude that he has. 

“Come on, Master, I want to test something!”

“Don’t tell me you are going to play the knife game with your prosthetic. You knocked about 10 years off of my life when you cut yourself last time.”

“What? Oh, that. Good times.” Obi-Wan can feel his blood pressure rising. “No, no, no, that’s not what I want to do. I got synthskin for the express purpose of seeing whether what you write on your right arm appears on mine.” 

“Oh, is that all? Wait– that actually makes a surprising amount of sense.”

“HEY!” Anakin glares at Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan loses it. He can’t help it, but the look of indignation on Anakin’s face combined with the red flush he gets when he’s excited about something mechanical makes him look like a very flustered tomato. 

Slowly, Anakin joins in the laughter. Soft at first, it grows into a full body laugh that has both men clutching their sides as they stagger through the temple. Anakin slings his arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulders, subtly relishing his greater height. Obi-Wan nestles comfortably into his side, still chuckling, ignoring the strange looks they get from elders and younglings alike. 

Their shared chambers are cozy. When Anakin was a new Padawan, he and Obi-Wan had stayed up late building pillow forts. It served both as bonding and comfort. Ten years later, they reconstruct their tiny fort, Anakin on the left, Obi-Wan on the right. Since Anakin is significantly taller now, his legs stick out from under the pillows just like Obi-Wan’s did when they were younger. Only their torsos are covered. But it doesn’t matter. All that matters is they are together, they are safe, and for now, the horrors of the mounting war have faded away. One heart, beating in tandem, one soul, shining in the Force.

Obi-Wan watches as Anakin gently traces over the last of the lines left on his arm from his stay in the Halls of Healing three weeks ago. He chuckles and Anakin’s eyes snap to his. 

“When Edinn said semi-permanent, he meant it. What do you think is in that ink?”

“I’m not sure I want to know at this point.” 

Obi-Wan nods. “Well, here’s a pen. Let’s test your theory.”

Anakin taps the pen to his lips and thinks for a moment. “How about I write on your arm and we can check to see if it appears on mine?”

Obi-Wan merely holds out his right arm. Anakin’s fingers close around his wrist and gently turn it around. The soft, sharp point of the pen glides across his skin as Anakin writes. He closes his eyes and waits. 

“Done. Now we wait.”

Obi-Wan opens his eyes and examines his arm. 

_ Jaieh, zhi enoah keel foundation kat fehl. 5_

Obi-Wan smiles and feels the radiant gaze of Anakin on him. Anakin never did learn the word for foundation. This little consistency from when Anakin was younger comforts him. He grabs the pen and shakily, struggling with his left hand, writes a reply. 

_ Enoah keel anohrah. 6_

Obi-Wan hesitates for a moment and then holds out his arm to Anakin. Just in case the prosthetic does not show the message, Obi-Wan wants Anakin to know that he feels the same, that when he is around Anakin, he feels like he is at home. Anakin feels like that night on Rodia where they camped out and stared at the stars for hours. Anakin feels like the first time they went swimming together to prepare for a mission on Mon Cala. Anakin feels like hot chocolate on sleepless nights, cookies after a mission, hugs of relief and affection. 

Anakin’s clear eyes meet Obi-Wan’s. The compassion and love that Obi-Wan is trying to convey are mirrored back at him. They sit there for a moment in silence, languishing in their small corner of peace. The silence is broken by a heavy sigh. “I don’t think it’s going to work.”

“That’s alright. All you have to do is make sure you don’t lose any more limbs.”

“I can do that.” A beat. “Do you remember the first time I broke my arm?”

Obi-Wan buries his head in the pillow underneath him, muffling his reply. “Mphh mehim ee.” 

“What?” Anakin’s tone is light and teasing. 

“Don’t remind me.” Obi-Wan lifts his head from the pillow and rolls onto his side, facing Anakin. “You told me you were ready!”

“I was ten! You threw me off the highest minaret of the temple! What was I supposed to do, a fancy flip and then stick the landing?”

“YES! That is exactly what you were supposed to do! I even threw you up so I could jump down before you and be your guide! I did it when I was eight. You were two years older than I was. I thought you could handle it.”

“So did I! But then you spun me!” 

“If I recall, when I prepared to throw you, your exact words were, and I quote ‘spin me! It’ll feel like podracing.’”

“That’s not the point!”

The morning turns into afternoon as the pair bicker. They reminisce and drink in each other’s presence. As afternoon turns into evening, the soft light of a Coruscant sunset settles comfortably on Anakin’s face. His eyes, blue and piercing, are soft in the light. His eyelids droop and Obi-Wan stifles a yawn. As the light fades and the natural glow of the sun is replaced with the harsh city lights, they sleep. Anakin curled up in Obi-Wan's side like when he was 9 and Obi-Wan was 25. They stay curled up under their rudimentary fort that night, feeling each other’s heartbeats, at peace with each other. 

* * *

The next morning, Obi-Wan escorts Anakin to the Senatorial Landing Platform, where he is scheduled to meet Senator Amidala. She has requested his presence to escort her back to Naboo. Obi-Wan is secretly pleased. The conclusion to Anakin’s mission should be uneventful and it will allow him more time to adjust to his prosthetic. After their failed experiment, Anakin decided that he didn’t actually like the feel of the synthskin. He removed it and got a glove instead. Obi-Wan suspects that it is to remind Anakin of the price of carelessness. 

“Remember Anakin, the council wants you back as soon as you are able. And try not to do anything stupid this time.”

“I know. I won’t.” Obi-Wan senses that Anakin’s mind is elsewhere and he follows the younger man’s gaze. Senator Amidala has just arrived at the landing platform, dressed beautifully as always. While Anakin is trying to hide it, Obi-Wan can feel the overwhelming adoration coming off of his Padawan. He rolls his eyes. He discreetly elbows Anakin, jolting him out of his reverie and giving him a pointed look, and Anakin ducks his head. Together they stroll forward and bow slightly when they reach the senator. 

“Senator. I am so glad you have recovered from your ordeal on Geonosis. You look radiant as ever.”

“Same to you, Master Kenobi. And Anakin, it’s so good to see you whole again.” 

“Well…” Obi-Wan looks pointedly at Anakin’s prosthesis. “Mostly whole.” 

Senator Amidala stifles a laugh and looks at Anakin. Despite the jab, Anakin is still speechless, just drinking in the Senator. Obi-Wan sighs internally. If he was going to pine, the least he could do is be subtle about it. He decides to let Anakin be a boy. 

“Senator, I must take my leave. I trust that you and Anakin will take every precaution?”

“We will.” The Senator nods and begins walking towards her sleek ship. 

“Oh, and Anakin?” This wakes him up. His head whips towards Obi-Wan. “This time, stay on Naboo.” 

“Trust me, Master, I’m not going to leave Naboo until I’m sent away.” _Oh how true that statement is,_ Obi-Wan thinks. 

With that, he lets his Padawan go. Anakin doesn’t turn around, but Obi-Wan’s arm grows warm. 

_I promise to stay safe._

_I know._ With that, they have said goodbye. 

There is comm silence from Anakin for a few days. This doesn’t worry Obi-Wan, as with all the research he has to do, he would kill to be in Anakin’s position, relaxing on Naboo. But when Anakin does reach out, Obi-Wan is relieved. He had not realized how worried he was that something disastrous would happen to the couple. The fire licks his bones, a welcome caress of warmth in the cold archives. Trying not to draw attention to himself, he rolls up his sleeve and looks. 

_~~Dearest angel~~ _

_~~Light of my heart~~ _

_~~Center of my universe~~ _

_Padmé. I have loved you since I met you. Your smile could bring planets to their knees,_ _your touch brings me to tears_ _, your eyes shine like the brightest of stars, your heart glows with kindness that trumps all the evil in the galaxy. In all my travels, I have never met anyone as radiant as you._ _Will you marry_ _Will you make me the happiest man in the galaxy?_

Obi-Wan chokes on air. He leans forward, coughing into his elbow while hastily pulling down his sleeve to hide the incriminating words. This… this is a marriage proposal. Anakin… Anakin is going to propose to Senator Amidala. Obi-Wan stares in mute horror at the words staining his skin. Even as he feels his foundations shaking, he cannot help a note of pride. Maybe Anakin isn’t terrible at flirting after all. Obi-Wan makes a decision. He will not speak of this to anyone. Anakin is just a boy who is making a mistake. Senator Amidala will turn him down, right? He is eighty percent certain of that. His traitorous mind conjures the image of Anakin kissing the senator on Geonosis. … He is fifty-five percent certain that Senator Amidala will turn Anakin down. Trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut, he goes back to his reading, making the conscious decision to take this to his grave. 

He is not at all surprised when, two days later, he feels pure, undiluted joy screaming through their bond. 

* * *

  1. _Daieno bika_ : Literally "force be here". A mantra basically meaning “be in the moment” or “dwell in the now.” [ ▲ ]
  2. _Heleo_ : In the simplest terms, this translates to “I’m sorry”. However, the Jedi have two other ways of apologizing. I chose this version because it is the most weighted. It has a heaviness and deep sincerity to it that the other forms lack. Obi-Wan is using this form to convey his failure and the regret he has that he even put Anakin into this position in the first place.  [ ▲ ]
  3. _Ikio_ : This word is a much more intimate form of promise, a stronger and more intimate version of ‘promise,’ closer to ‘I trust you above all’. The creators of Dai Bendu wanted it to be a word that was used as an oath that you'd trust this person to take your lightsaber and bring it back home should you die in battle. So in saying this to Anakin, he is promising to do whatever it takes to get Anakin to safety, even if it means dying himself.  [ ▲ ]
  4. _Aunah keel tonbrei’ak fehl_ : “You make me feel whole”. Whole (tonbrei) is defined as a concept of mental/spiritual unity. Literally “being one.” Literal translation is “you give me wholeness.” [ ▲ ]
  5. _Jaieh, zhi enoah keel foundation kat fehl_ : “Master, you will always be my foundation.”  [ ▲ ]
  6. _Enoah keel anohrah_ : “You are my home.” [ ▲ ]



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these boys so much. Anakin is such a ditz and this is where we begin to see why I put the tag "Anakin is about as subtle as a nuclear warhead." I put them through so much, so I felt that I needed to give them some happiness, hence: pillow fort. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Come say hi: https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 35 when he loses Anakin Skywalker to the Dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clone Wars spoilers for the next 3 chapters. Just a warning in case you haven't seen it yet. You needn't have watched Clone Wars to enjoy these chapters though. I made sure that they were still understandable without the knowledge of the Clone Wars.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 35 when he loses Anakin Skywalker to the Dark. 

Anakin, plagued by guilt over the death of Daughter that throbs like a heartbeat through their force bond, has gone in pursuit of the Son to bring balance and prevent him from destroying the galaxy and plunging it into the dark. Obi-Wan knew that Anakin had found the Son when their bond fills with anguish, confusion, and sorrow. A few moments later, the bond stabilizes, Anakin calming. Obi-Wan is relieved, but only for a moment. Anakin Falls. 

It is cold for a moment. Then white hot fire spikes through their bond and plunges like a dagger into his skull. The bond quivers, trying desperately to hold together. It stretches, humming. Then, with a heave and cry from the Force, it shatters. The fracture drives pieces of durasteel into Obi-Wan’s force presence. All the air leaves his lungs. He falls to his knees, barely conscious and only vaguely aware of Ahsoka’s worried, “Master!”

Gasping, he manages to ask Ahsoka for a pen. Knowing the special nature of the relationship between Obi-Wan and her Master, Ahsoka doesn’t try to get an explanation out of him, but does as Obi-Wan asks. She helps him to a chair, taking the brunt of his weight. He sinks and frantically scribbles messages into his skin. 

_Anakin._

_Ankai’a, shet. 1 _

_Anakin no._

_Please don’t do this._

_Come back, I beg you._

_The Son is manipulating you._

_Don't leave me._

_Toln anohrah2 _ _, I need you by my side._

_Stay with the light._

_You are my BROTHER, Anakin. I love you._

He waits and is devastated when the warmth that usually accompanies a response is met only with cold, harsh and biting, a mockery of their former connection. 

_I can't._

_You wouldn’t understand._

_But this is what I need to do._

_Join me, Obi-Wan. We can SAVE the galaxy._

Obi-Wan slumps. He is dimly aware of Ahsoka flitting around him anxiously, asking if there is anything she can do. He shakes his head. 

_I can’t. You know that. Please. Come back._

_I can’t. Not after what I’ve seen. You’ll understand. Just… stay out of my way._

_You know I won’t do that, Anakin._

_I know._

“Ahsoka. I need you to make sure that the ship is inoperable.”

“But I just finished fixing it!”

“I know, but Anakin has fallen to the Dark and he and the Son will be here soon. They cannot leave.” Obi-Wan shakily stands, gripping the chair for support. He forces the anguish at the thought that he might have to relive the trauma of Qui-Gon’s death but with his Padawan instead down. Focusing on the mission at hand, he scans the cabin and finds the portable speeders. 

“Where are you going?”

“To save my brother.”

When Obi-Wan descends the ramp, the Father is waiting for him. 

“Where’s Anakin?”

“He came to me for guidance. But at the crossroads, only he can choose. The Force will be his guide now.”

“Anakin has already chosen and he has chosen the Dark. Where has he gone?”

“To the well of the Dark side.” The Father is reluctant, and Obi-Wan feels his frustration and panic growing. “Deep within this planet, there exists a place where all that is Dark is channeled.”

“And how do I get there?”

“NO. You cannot interfere.”

“The way I see it, if we were not supposed to interfere, Ahsoka and I wouldn’t be here in the first place!” Obi-Wan’s voice gets louder until he is practically yelling at the Father. “Look after the ship, Ahsoka.” He stalks over to where he left the speeder, forcibly repressing the rage.

He hops on the speeder and speeds off into the night, leaving the Father behind. He follows the dim connection they still have. A consequence of their being soulmates means that they are never truly separated. He reaches the volcano’s entrance and launches himself and speeder into the crater without hesitation. When Obi-Wan reaches the bottom, Anakin is waiting for him. 

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan’s voice breaks as Anakin looks up at him. The once blue and loving eyes of the man Obi-Wan cares for more than anything are yellow and red. They burn with hatred and pain. Hollow and sunken, Anakin looks tortured and Obi-Wan feels his throat close. He gets off his bike and walks over towards his fallen Padawan. 

With a gentle push, Obi-Wan’s speeder is in the lava, melting. “There has been a change of plans. As I said, you will not understand what I must do to end the Clone Wars. You will try to stop me and that… cannot happen. Know that I am doing this because I love you. I can't lose you.” Anakin's voice softens at those words. Obi-Wan’s eyes widen and he reaches out towards Anakin. 

“Ana-AHHHHH'' Neurons fire and misfire as electricity slams into him from behind, knocking him to the ground. He lies there, curled in a ball. From behind, the Son steps over his body, shaking his head in mock pity. Anakin leaps onto the remaining speeder bike and takes off, not even bothering to look back. 

Obi-Wan slowly gets to his feet, glaring at the Son. “Give him back to me.”

“Ah, ah, ah. He’s mine now.” Obi-Wan snarls at the Son’s mockery. “He’s made his choice. I thought a soulmate was supposed to support the decisions of the other.”

“Not when it’s like this. Not when the other has clearly lost themselves. It’s a soulmate’s job to bring them back.”

“Well, there’s little you can do now.” With a harsh laugh, the Son transforms into his other form and takes off, leaving Obi-Wan stranded in the volcano.

He does the only thing he can do. He comms Ahsoka. “Ahsoka, please tell me you disabled the ship.”

“I did. Where are you?”

“Trapped in a volcano. Would you do me a favor and come pick me up?”

“I’ll be right there.”

The line cuts out and Obi-Wan assesses his situation. No grappling hooks, no platforms within Force-leaping range. His only option was to climb. Before he begins, he grabs the pen from where it hangs on his belt and scribbles one last message to Anakin. 

_Please reconsider, Anakin._ There is no reply. 

He makes it halfway up the caldera when Ahsoka reaches him. 

“Hmm. Nice job.” She is smug and seemingly unconcerned with Anakin’s current situation. Obi-Wan restrains himself from lashing out. **She’s only a child.**

“What took you so long?” She shrugs and pulls up closer to him. He swings himself from the ledge to sit behind her. 

“Here. I did as you asked. The shuttle’s going nowhere without that.” She hands him what essentially amounts to the key of the shuttle. 

“Good, that will give us some time to deal with Anakin. We must find the Father. Let’s go back to his stronghold.”  
  


Ahsoka nods and steers the bike out of the crater. They ride in silence, the landscape passing swiftly beneath them. As they approach the monastery, Obi-Wan feels Anakin come back to the Light. The cold that had destroyed the warmth melts away. What is left of their training bond hums excitedly as the shattered pieces connect again. Pleasant fire coats Obi-Wan’s body and he slumps against Ahsoka. 

“Master!”

“I… I’m fine, Ahsoka. Anakin came back to me, to us. We must hurry. He will need our help.” Ahsoka revs the engine and the speeder picks up speed. The Father’s monastery looms above them and Obi-Wan feels Anakin’s Force presence. It is weak, but gradually it gains strength. 

“Go up, Ahsoka.” Following his instructions, Ahsoka directs the speeder up the wall of the monastery, cresting over the top. She quickly maneuvers into the massive courtyard, where Anakin stands, talking to the Father. 

“Master!” Ahsoka shouts. Obi-Wan’s heart thrums at the sight of Anakin, looking confused but clearly in the Light. The speeder stops and the pair leap off, approaching the Father. As they reach Anakin’s side, the echoing voice of the Son reverberates around the chamber. 

“How quaint. My own personal sendoff,” The Son purrs, emerging from the shadows above them. Obi-Wan’s blood boils at the sight of the bald figure and he feels a storm gathering in his chest. That place, that well of Dark, must have done something to him. It’s been a while since he had such a visceral reaction to something. 

“I ask you one last time, do not leave, my Son. I love you, my Son.” The Father pleads with his child. Obi-Wan sees Anakin shifting his balance and prepares for a fight. 

“Do you?” The Son mocks his father and Anakin leaps forward. 

Barely even flinching, the Son bats Anakin’s lightsaber to the side and grabs him by the throat. Obi-Wan snarls and ignites his lightsaber as Anakin’s legs kick helplessly in the air. Ahsoka does the same. The panic spilling through their bond energizes Obi-Wan. He has to protect his friend. 

Like a Nexu tired of playing with it’s food, the Son tosses Anakin to the side. He skids across stone and rolls to a stop, not moving. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka advance but their lightsabers are pulled from their hands. With a shove, they are thrust backwards. Obi-Wan feels his head hit rock and the world turns white. He lies there, gasping for breath. When he is confident that he won’t black out if he sits up, he slowly raises himself to his knees. Anakin stands over the bodies of the Father and Son. Obi-Wan feels surprise and remorse. He stands, helping Ahsoka. They walk over to Anakin who is just staring at the bodies. 

“Anakin, you did what you felt was right.”

“Yeah… I know. I can’t help but feel like… I can’t help but feel like I started something terrible here.” Anakin rubs his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Maybe you did. We will worry about that later. But what matters is that we are safe. You saved us all.”

Ahsoka steps forward and Obi-Wan places his hand on her shoulder as she speaks. “You brought me back to life, Master, that’s no laughing matter.”

Anakin nods slowly and a grin spreads across his face. Obi-Wan heart sings. He loves Anakin’s smile. “Ya know what, Snips? You’re right. Now that I have literally brought you back from beyond the grave, I hope you start to show me some respect.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “What, the same respect that you always show me? Ahsoka learned her disrespect from the best.”

Anakin sputters and Ahsoka laughs. Obi-Wan can’t suppress his grin. Obi-Wan and his lineage walk out of the monastery bathed in the glow of the beacon. Anakin's arm is draped around Obi-Wan. When they get back to the ship, the planet allows them to leave. They reconnect with the 501st and complete the mission they were sent out to do. Obi-Wan never asks about what Anakin experienced while under the Son’s influence. He is too happy to have Anakin back in the Light, by his side. As they stand on the bridge of Anakin’s new command ship, Anakin turns to him. 

“Do you think I have set something terrible in motion?” Worry seeps out of every fiber of Anakin’s being. 

Obi-Wan smiles, half to reassure Anakin, the rest to reassure himself. “Anakin, we are in the middle of a galactic civil war. You, I, or Ahsoka could die at any time. Let’s not tempt fate by dwelling on what could happen. Today, let us be happy that we are together and relatively safe, by war standards.”

Anakin relaxes and his laugh rings through the bridge. They fall back on their steady ritual of banter and jokes. They leave Mortis behind, content in each other's company and good health.

Obi-Wan ignores the knot of worry in his chest.

* * *

  1. _Shet_ : "No." [ ▲ ]
  2. _Toln anorah_ : "Come home."  [ ▲ ]



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cackles* HERE WE GO FOLKS!!! The next three chapters are fairly emotionally charged, so carry on at your own risk!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and come say hi!!! It gets lonely on Tumblr. 
> 
> https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 36 when he “dies.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 36 when he “dies.”

The Jedi Council has decided to send Obi-Wan undercover. It was the midst of the Clone Wars and there was a threat against the Chancellor’s life. This would not do. So naturally, they chose Obi-Wan to die. 

The Council convened in the chambers and discussed the plan. 

“Let me get this straight. You want me to submit to an assassination, then go undercover, stealing the assassin’s identity and infiltrating the prison, while gaining the trust of the mastermind behind the plot so I can join the plot and help themattempt to assassinate the Chancellor while also preventing it?”

“Yes, that’s correct, Master Kenobi.”

And like a champ, Obi-Wan “Drama is my Middle Name” Kenobi grins like a wolf and says, “I’m in.”

The next day, Mace and Obi-Wan go bounty hunter hunting. They find one in a slum of Coruscant, drinking and loudly bragging about his former triumphs. The Jedi lock eyes with each other and smile. Obi-Wan takes the left and Mace takes the right. 

“Rako Hardeen?”

“Who's asking?”

“No one of import. Come with us, we have a job offer for you.”

With some light coercion and promises of drinks, the two Jedi manage to coax Hardeen into a back room. At that moment, Obi-Wan feels the burning, but it wasn’t on his arms, like it usually was. It is on his face this time. He sighs, knowing that Ahsoka was behind this. He draws the hood lower. 

“Rako Hardeen. We have a job for you. We want you to assassinate Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

That rouses the bounty hunter out of his drunken stupor. “You want me to assassinate a Jedi, and a member of the Jedi Council at that?” 

“Yes, we do. I have a death wish, Mr. Hardeen.” Obi-Wan keeps his hood on because he didn’t want Mace to see him like this, but made sure his voice is recognizable. “We will give you 20,0000 credits, unmarked, with 5,000 in advance.”

“That’s a good deal. Are you sure that’s all you want me to do?” 

The pair exchange glances. “We also need you to do some other things upon completion of the assassination. Minor things. We will contact you with the details later. We have it on good authority that Kenobi will be in the dock district in three days. You will kill him there. Is that understood?”

“Yeah.”

“We will send you the coordinates and the finer details in the morning, when you’re a bit more sober for now, here are your credits. This is the advance payment. You will receive the rest when it is done.”

“Aw’right. Now piss off, I have a fun night ahead of me.”

The Jedi oblige the man, and exit the bar. Together, they make their way to their speeder, which was parked several streets away. A gust of wind blows Obi-Wan’s hood down giving Mace a good look at his face. 

“Master Kenobi, you have…”

“I know. It seems Ahsoka is having fun with Anakin while he’s sleeping again. I wish I could tell you that this is the first time this happened. But it is not. This is the fifth.” Obi-Wan has the voice of a broken man. 

“Then it is even more important that Skywalker thinks you're dead. Otherwise he will try to contact you via this method and that cannot happen. Under no circumstances are you to speak to Skywalker using this method.” Leave it to Mace to bring his thoughts back to the unpleasantness at hand.

“I understand. I regret keeping him in the dark. I have a bad feeling about this.”

* * *

The day of the assassination comes. Obi-Wan carefully layers his robes on top of the body armor he was given. He sends a quiet prayer to the Force that Anakin will be okay. He knows in his heart of hearts that this is going to hurt Anakin like nothing else. He knows that he is going to have a funeral and he knows that he is going to have to watch Anakin grieve his death and Ahsoka as well. 

He meets the other members of the Council one more time. They give him a vital suppressor and encourage him to take it as close to the time as possible. He pockets it and finishes his preparations. 

That evening, Obi-Wan takes Anakin and Ahsoka out for a fun night on the town. He claims it is to allow them a chance to relax. Neither of his friends are going to look a gift Bantha in the mouth, so the evening proceeds as planned. They drink, they laugh, they swap stories. Obi-Wan feels nothing but love from his former Padawan through their bond. 

_ I'm glad I found you.  _

Anakin, bronzed hair curling around his face, arm slung around Ahsoka, blue eyes sparking under the neon lights. Obi-Wan savors the look of caring that Anakin gives him when the words appear on his skin, knowing that feeling will not last. 

“I love you too, Obi-Wan!” Anakin laughs, clearly a little tipsy. Ahsoka, drinking her soda, rolls her eyes. 

“What about me?” 

“Yeah, I love you Snips, you already know that.”

“Anakin shows love by throwing the people he cares about into danger. You are very loved.”

“Then he must really love Senator Amidala. Wasn’t his first solo assignment protecting her and instead he managed to loop her into an almost-execution?” 

“Oh, yes. That was quite a day.”

“Hey!” Anakin pipes up, glaring soft daggers at his Master and Padawan. “That was one time.”

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka exchange glances. Anakin’s eyes fill with panic and realization. “NO, NO, I take it back please don’t make me relive all the times I put Padmé in danger.”

“Oh so it’s Padmé now?” Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow.

“What? She’s my… friend.” Anakin almost slips up.  _ It’s very funny how he thinks he can hide things from me _ , Obi-Wan thinks.  _ Especially when he had written his proposal to Padmé on his arm. It’s like he forgets that whatever he writes on his arm shows up on mine _ . 

“Till death do you part, I’m sure.” 

“Of course she is,” Ahsoka butts in, soothing her master. “Everyone knows that you and Master Kenobi are actually married.”

“Mhhhmmmm that's not true. What we have is more like a…” Anakin swirls his drink as he thinks. “A mutually beneficial relationship for tax benefits.” 

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. “We don't pay taxes, Anakin. The Council does.” 

“Exactly. There is nothing between us, Snips. See?” 

“I’ll believe that when I see it.” Ahsoka rolls her eyes. “Sometimes I think you two are both in a relationship with Senator Amidala.” 

Obi-Wan chokes on his drink and runs his fingers through his hair. Ahsoka and Anakin continue to bicker and he drinks them in, sipping on the concoction in his hand. He ignores the mounting sense of dread. This is a time for caring and making memories. He plans to make this night as memorable as possible for the two young Jedi. They are going to need all the comfort he can give them. 

They dance. They laugh, Obi-Wan and Anakin taking turns regaling Ahsoka with tales of their misfortunes and adventures. None of them were funny in the moment, but the soft lens of retrospect gives them better quality. 

When Obi-Wan tells her about the first time Anakin lost his lightsaber and had to go to Ilum with the younglings to get a new crystal, Ahsoka nearly snorts her soda out of her nose. 

“I don’t even remember why we were on Iego, do you, Anakin?” Obi-Wan’s eyes spark with mirth as Anakin groans and buries his head in his hand.

“Not this story, Master. I was the laughing stock of the Temple for weeks!” 

Ahsoka’s face is flushed from the dancing but she bounces up and down. “Oh, this I gotta hear. Not many things reduce Skyguy to this level of embarrassment.”

Obi-Wan indulges her, savoring the embarrassment on Anakin’s face. “We were on Iego, I don’t know why. I don’t know how much you know about Iego, but there is a rather nasty species of carnivorous plant that is indigenous to the planet called Reeksa. OH!” Obi-Wan snaps his fingers. “This was the plant that we used to cure you of the Blue Shadow Virus.” Ahsoka nods, remembering and he continues. “Anyway, this was before that. Anakin was… what, 11?” 

A red-faced Anakin butts in, grumbling. “I was 12. If you’re going to ridicule me, at least get my age right.”

Obi-Wan turns back to Ahsoka. “He was 12. Good to see not much has changed.” Ahsoka stifles a laugh. “Anyways, little Anakin, innocent Anakin, manages to get ensnared by said plant. Instead of turning on his lightsaber and cutting his way out, like I was trying to do, he panics and just throws his lightsaber at the head of the thing. Naturally, like any good carnivorous plant, it opens its mouth and swallows it. I still wonder if he meant to do that or if it was instinct?”

The bright red flush of Anakin’s face tells them all they need to know. He protests, putting on a show, but Ahsoka brushes him off. Anakin has his revenge not long after. He tells Ahsoka about when Obi-Wan accidentally managed to propose to the son of a prominent senator. The diplomatic backflips he had to do to get out of that one has the trio in stitches. 

“How was I supposed to know that fighting a battle for his protection, killing insurgents, and then presenting him with a beautiful flower to calm his nerves were the exact steps of an elaborate ancient courtship ritual?” Obi-Wan slurs his words a little bit, lamenting his misfortune. 

“I don’t know, Master, you seemed kinda into him in the moment.” Anakin is giving Obi-Wan the side eye, face pink and blue under the neon lights. 

“He was quite handsome…” Obi-Wan finds himself agreeing. Anakin raises an eyebrow and he hastily corrects, “But that’s not the point!”

“Skyguy is right on this one, Master. I don’t think you’re helping your case by admitting he was attractive.”

“Speak for yourself, Ahsoka. What was the name of that boy you liked… Boninii… Bonsheeny? No no BONTERI, Lux Bonteri, that’s it. Didn’t you save him from Death Watch?”

Ahsoka’s checks turn a deeper orange. 

Anakin chimes in, “And don’t tell me you don’t have a thing for Barriss.” 

“That’s not the point. We are focusing on Obi-Wan here!” She tries to deflect.

“No, no, Anakin’s right. Do you have a thing for Barriss? And what about Senator Chuchi?”

The night progresses. The time of Obi-Wan’s execution approaches. He feigns exhaustion. Being the good people they are, Anakin and Ahsoka graciously agree to escort him back to the Temple. Exactly as predicted. Still laughing and teasing each other, the trio walks out of the bar. Anakin’s arm is around Obi-Wan’s shoulders and Ahsoka is skipping along beside them. 

Anakin and Ahsoka are chattering about nothing. Obi-Wan listens to them fondly. 

“Snips, Snips listen. In another life, I would have been excellent at caring for younglings.”

“Are you crazy? You’d probably kill them!”

“What? No way. I love kids! I would be able to teach them how to navigate the Temple using all the secret tunnels and hallways I found as a kid.”

“Why didn’t you show me these, Skyguy? I’m a kid.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, we are in the middle of a kriffing war, Snips!”

A shot rings out, interrupting their debate. Then three more. The first bullet impacts right between Obi-Wan’s feet, sending bits of concrete and metal flying. Even though he knows this is coming, Obi-Wan’s heart rate spikes. He flips out of the way, hiding behind one of the surrounding crates. The other shots impact the crates he was standing next to. They are at chest level. He looks to his left and sees Anakin shielding Ahsoka behind a crate. 

“Any idea where that shot came from?” Obi-Wan can’t see from behind his crate. 

Ahsoka points, “A sniper. I see him up there!”

Obi-Wan easily slips back into the role of General. He’s had a fun night, now is the time for duty. Anakin and Ahsoka, for all their rebellion, listen to him. No doubt they realize he could have been dead. Anakin’s eyes are smoldering. “All right, here's the plan. Anakin, you flank him on the right. Ahsoka, you cover the lower streets. I'm going after him.” 

They nod and break. Each draws their lightsabers, falling back on muscle memory and habit, hundreds of other situations just like this. Ahsoka takes off, diving into a roll that carries her to the alley across from the bar. Anakin nods to Obi-Wan and they both run and leap. Obi-Wan lands and sprints towards the retreating form of the sniper. The assailant is good. He dodges and weaves around the rooftop. If Obi-Wan didn’t already know where he is going, he would have lost the would-be assassin. He sees the assassin stop and ready his blaster. Obi-Wan skids to a halt, hiding behind a ventilation unit. 

Ahsoka’s voice rings out from his comm. “I lost him!”

“So did I,” Anakin replies. Both of their voices are tinged with adrenaline. 

“Master Obi-Wan, do you have anything? Come in, Master Obi-Wan!” Ahsoka’s voice trembles slightly. 

Obi-Wan ignores them. Hands shaking, pulse quickening, he reaches into his belt and grabs the vital suppressor. He rolls up his sleeve and injects it into his arm. Taking a deep breath, he feels his heart rate begin to slow. Steeling himself, he steps out from behind the unit. He looks directly at the sniper.  _ Heleo, ankai’a. _

A shot rings out and Obi-Wan tumbles off the roof. For a moment, he is weightless. The ground rushes up to meet him and his head hits the pavement with a crack. The last thing he feels is Anakin screaming and their Force bond shattering into dozens of icy shards. 

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 36 when he attends his own funeral and realizes how dangerous an attached Anakin can be. 

The ceremony is beautiful and more traditional than the one held on Naboo for Qui-Gon all those years ago. Obi-Wan lurks in the back of the room, hiding behind a pillar, against the wishes of the Council. He wants to see how his funeral was. He was always too curious for his own good, everyone said so. His casket is closed, which was what Obi-Wan had wanted. Obi-Wan’s skin crawls at how  _ wrong  _ this feels. Everyone looks so devastated. 

The coffin is beautiful. Deep, deep red wood, native to his home planet of Stewjon, engraved with the signet of the Jedi Order. There are only 10 members of the Order in attendance. But Obi-Wan strong-armed Windu and Yoda into allowing some of the clones access to the funeral. So he also sees Rex, Cody, and Fives at first glance. They look more somber than they usually do. Seeing his usually vibrant blood brothers so downtrodden hurts Obi-Wan. He has to remind himself why he is doing this.  _ I am doing this to protect the Republic. _ That doesn’t stop the guilt settling into his skin. 

He shoves it aside. There is no time for this sort of hesitation. The council is counting on him. That takes precedence. It doesn’t matter that Anakin will blame himself. It doesn’t matter that Anakin will sink into a depression. It doesn’t matter that Anakin will pursue the killer with a singular minded intensity. It doesn't matter. But it does. He tries to ignore those thoughts. 

As is the custom, Anakin stands at the head of the coffin. From where he is standing, Obi-Wan cannot see Anakin’s face. But he doesn’t have to see him to know what his former Padawan is feeling. The man’s shoulders are hunched. He is holding himself like he has lost half of his reason for being. Ahsoka stands next to him. Her shoulders are shaking. Master and Padawan, an eerie mirror. 

It is clear that Anakin is in no condition to begin the rites, so Ahsoka steps in.

“Master, you were born from the Force and you exited wrapped in the Force. We who live on remember you and feel you surrounding us in the living force.  _ Tonbrei enoah foh midaial, gototo kat tonbrei 1 _ . ”

The Council echos. “ _ Tonbrei enoah foh midaial, gototo kat tonbrei _ .”

“Negotiator, strongest among us, protector and friend, we usher you into the force.” 

“ _ Tonbrei enoah foh midaial, gototo kat tonbrei _ .”

“May you go with the Force.” 

“Rest now, Obi-Wan.'' Anakin says these words. As he does, they appear scrawling and messy, smudged like they are wet, on Obi-Wan’s hand.  _ Heleo. I failed you.  _ Obi-Wan’s breath sticks in his throat as the words appear.  _ Anakin blames himself _ , he realizes.

Obi-Wan exits the chamber. He can’t bear to watch and feel Anakin’s grief in such close proximity anymore. 

He makes his way to the medical wing, where he is to undergo his transformation. He doesn’t think much about what the mission is. He is consumed by the grief and the sheer RAGE coming through the remnants of the force bond he has with Anakin. It crashes over him, a tsunami of emotion. Each wave stronger than the one before until Obi-Wan is drowning in sorrow. It fills his mouth, his lungs, his chest. He has to remind himself to breathe.  _ This isn’t real. It’s merely a manifestation of Anakin’s grief _ . 

Obi-Wan shudders, he knows that he has created a monster. Even though their bond is shattered, he knows. Anakin is plotting his revenge. Two years ago, during the first battle of Geonosis, Anakin thought he had lost Senator Amidala. Then, he had Obi-Wan to support him and keep him focused.  _ What happens to Anakin now that he believes has lost half of his soul _ , Obi-Wan wonders. His mind conjures images of Anakin on Mortis, eyes red and sunken. A shell, a husk, only living for vengeance. Obi-Wan shakes his head, clutching his forehead. He banishes the images.  _ Everything is going to be okay _ , he reassures himself. _ I am not actually dead. When this is over, I will be able to help him. He just needs to hold on. We both do. _

Apparently Anakin has retreated to his chambers, because words start to appear on Obi-Wan’s skin. They start on his hand, right next to the smudged  _ heleo _ . Slowly at first then fervently, as if Anakin fears he is running out of time, words pour directly from soul to flesh. Twisting, curling cruelly as if to mark Obi-Wan’s body with Anakin’s pain, they travel up his arm and curl around it. 

_ I’m sorry I couldn't save you. _

_ Henelah foh keel 2 _ _. _

_ What should I do now, Master? _

_ OBI-WAN. Obi-Wan please, please don’t be dead.  _

_ I will find your killer and I will avenge you.  _

_ Bexlah foh keel.3 _

__

Obi-Wan winces as his chest burns in pain. Normally, the accompanying sensation is soft and warm. This is cold and biting. It feels like the words are being carved into his skin instead of written. 

__

Obi-Wan shoves the medical droid who is hovering around him away and removes his shirt, staring at the words over his heart in a mirror the droid had set on the bedside table.

__

_BEXLRU FOH KEEL! 4 _ _. _

The guilt and the rage is suffocating. Anakin is drowning in his grief and there is nothing Obi-Wan can do about it. 

__

He is helpless.

__

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 36 when Anakin Skywalker tries to kill him. 

__

A few days after Obi-Wan’s ‘funeral’, Anakin and Obi-Wan meet in battle. Cad Bane, Moralo Ival and Obi-Wan-As-Rako-Hardeen are on the run but Anakin is single minded in his pursuit. But before Anakin catches up to the trio, Anakin’s first message since the day of the funeral appears on Obi-Wan’s skin.

__

_ It’s my birthday today, Master. I’m 20 now. But… you already know that, don’t you. I’m… sorry I couldn’t save you. We were supposed to grow old together. We were going to go to tour the galaxy when we were too old to fight any more. You, me, and Snips. You… you promised me. And now you’re gone. We will never get to see the binary sunsets on Tatooine together, to swim in the soothing waters of Naboo, to go skydiving on Kashyyyk.  _

__

Obi-Wan feels tears slide down his face. The dull ache that has been present in his chest from the funeral gets deeper. He stifles his sobs, painfully aware of the murderous bounty hunter and mad genius in the other rooms. _ Anakin’s birthday _ . How on Coruscant could he forget? Anakin had been looking forward to this day for ages. 

__

Obi-Wan had promised Anakin that they would take a few days and go on a little trip to celebrate, just Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka. He hadn’t told Anakin where they were going, only that they would not be disturbed. He had arranged for them to go to Alderaan. Bail Organa had a beautiful summer home an hour’s hike from the Cloudshape Falls. It was vacant and as thanks to the Jedi, he had freely offered it to them. Obi-Wan’s bicep glows with heat and he rolls his sleeve up further to see the new message. 

_ But I will avenge you. I found them, Master. I am coming for them. I will avenge you and bring Rako Hardeen’s head in on a pike. _

Obi-Wan shudders, wiping away tears, grateful he is a Jedi. He knows that he will be able to fend off Anakin, but there has to be some way to let Anakin know that he is alive. It is against the Orders of the Council, but the battering ram of emotion pounding in Obi-Wan’s skull is making it very hard to concentrate. Not only that, but he… he misses Anakin. He can’t bear the thought of Anakin wallowing in guilt and rage any longer. Especially not on his birthday.

* * *

When Anakin and Ahsoka catch up with them, he is ready. Cad Bane dashes out of the ship first, claiming it is his turn to kill a Jedi. Obi-Wan rolls his eyes, groaning and runs to a gunner’s station, grabbing his gun. Anakin and Bane are locked in a vicious fight. Anakin is holding nothing back, Obi-Wan notes with a frown. Cad Bane is no match for the righteous fury of Anakin. He has to help Bane. Then the ship rocks and Obi-Wan nearly falls out of his seat.  _ Ahsoka. _ Obi-Wan carefully takes aim. The pipes beneath them explode in an eruption of sparks and smoke. Both ships begin to spiral. They crash to the deafening cacophony of metal ripping apart. Obi-Wan’s head hits the console and he knows no more. 

Obi-Wan doesn’t know how long he had been out for. When he wakes, he is slumped over the console, which is lightly smoking. 

“Anakin.”

He vaults over the console. Obi-Wan, eager to see Anakin even if it is in a battle scenario, leaps out of the ship in pursuit. He purposefully leaves his helmet behind. Obi-Wan is still getting used to being bald, but for him to lure Anakin away, Anakin has to see the face of his Master’s killer. 

Sprinting into the smoke of their crash site, he desperately scans the area for Anakin. It doesn’t take long. A dark streak erupts from the smoke, slamming him to the ground. A fist meets his face.  _ Anakin. Damn, he used his mechanical hand. That’s gonna leave a mark. _ His head snaps back again and again as Anakin unleashes punch after punch. 

Anakin grabs his collar and pulls him upright, eyes burning with fury. “You’re going to pay for what you did.” His voice is dangerously calm. 

He shoves Obi-Wan away, but Obi-Wan resists the Force push. Anakin’s eyes widen slightly then narrow. 

“You shouldn’t have gotten involved.” Obi-Wan spits a glob of blood on the ground and raises his fists. 

Anakin snarls, and for a second, Obi-Wan swears the beautiful blue eyes of Anakin are a deep, blood red. He charges forward, body slamming Obi-Wan into the rock wall. Obi-Wan doubles over. Anakin steps back and ignites his lightsaber. “This is for Obi-Wan.” 

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen. Anakin raises his lightsaber. Before it falls, Bane swoops in. He entangles Anakin in a cord, toppling the Jedi. 

“You can thank me later, Hardeen,” Bane rasps, pulling Anakin away from Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan resists the urge to strangle Bane and reach out to Anakin. “You had your chance to kill him. Now it’s my turn.” There is sick pleasure in Bane’s voice. Obi-Wan represses bile as he watches Anakin snarl and writhe. 

Anakin calms for a moment then his boot connects with Bane. He staggers back and Anakin is up in a flash. He summons his lightsaber. Bane’s shots are reflected right back at the bounty hunter. Bane backs up, still shooting. Anakin stalks forward, reveling in the bloodlust. Obi-Wan can sense the satisfaction at having caught up to the people responsible for his Master’s death. Body coiled and lightsaber a blur. Bane’s gun is knocked out of his hand. Obi-Wan dashes forward, slamming into Anakin and tackling him away from Bane. Both Master and Padawan scramble to their feet. He allows Anakin to get in several good hits. He hears a snap and blood is gushing down his face. The blood only encourages Anakin. Obi-Wan sweeps his foot out, sending Anakin sprawling. He uses this opportunity to get Anakin into a headlock. 

The limp Force bond slowly gains life in his mind. From the way Anakin stills for a moment, he knows Anakin feels it too. The shattered pieces connect and Obi-Wan’s body shudders in tandem with Anakin’s. 

“ _Ankai’a_ ,” he whispers. “ _Ankai’a,_ don’t follow me. Please. And… happy birthday. _Bexlah foh keel.”_

Their newly mended bond leaps with joy and confusion. Anakin is overwhelmed and this makes it easy for Obi-Wan to suggest that he sleep. Anakin’s head lolls against Obi-Wan’s chest and he holds him there for a second. He revels in the rightness of their reformed bond. Then he drops his padawan to the floor. Brushing himself off, he stands and walks towards Bane. Bane has gotten up, retrieved his blaster and hat, and is limping towards Anakin. He raises his blaster. Obi-Wan can’t stop him. He shoots. 

Then comes Ahsoka, blades and fury, like a loth-cat protecting her cub. She easily deflects the bolt. She assumes a defensive position, crouching over Anakin’s body. Obi-Wan hides a smile, glad that his Padawan is safe under the care of his grand-Padawan. 

“Come on, Bane, we don’t have time for this.”

Bane growls and spins on his heel. Obi-Wan hesitates for a moment. He stares at Ahsoka and the body of his Padawan. Ahsoka’s eyes are frigid, daring him to try something.  _ Like she wants it. She wants to hurt me. Anakin trained her well. _ Despite the inherent danger of this situation, Obi-Wan smiles. He winks, doing his best to channel familiarity into the gesture. Ahsoka’s brow furrows in confusion, then understanding and her arms drop a little. Obi-Wan walks backwards, maintaining eye contact, then pivots and runs to the ship. The band of misfits escapes, leaving Anakin and Ahsoka behind. 

When Obi-Wan wakes up the next day, words cover his arms. 

_ How could you not tell me?  _

_ Why? _

__

_ I’m glad you’re not dead but…  _

_ Why was I not told?  _

_ Why?  _

_ Why did you not trust me?  _

_ Why? _

Obi-Wan hesitates, then digs through his bag for a pen.  _ We had to make it look real. Please, talk to Yoda. He can explain. I’m almost finished. _

He rolls down his sleeves and dons his armor. He has a job to do.

* * *

  1. _Tonbrei enoah foh midaial, gototo kat tonbrei_ : “One with the Force, part of the whole.” The first tonbrei is fronted for emphasis, while the second is present to emphasize the concept of wholeness. This is a repeat from a previous chapter in case you didn't remember the translation. [ ▲ ]
  2. _Henelah foh keel_ : “I miss you.” [ ▲ ]
  3. _Bexlah foh keel_ : “I love you.” Bexl, the base of the first word, is the verb “to love.” Jedi have three words for love and this is the most possessive. It is referring to possessive love.  [ ▲ ]
  4. _Bexlru foh keel_ : “I loved you.” Note the use of the past tense.  [ ▲ ]



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I.... I'm sorry. It had to be done. Part 2 of this arc is next up. Two more chapters! *runs and hides*
> 
> Come yell at me on Tumblr: 
> 
> https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 36 when Anakin begins to lose trust in him.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 36 when Anakin begins to lose trust in him.

After successfully preventing the attack on the Chancellor, Obi-Wan spends the day in the Halls of Healing, changing back into his normal self. He is so happy that medicine is as good as it is. He leaves the halls with a full head of hair, complete with beard. 

Anakin is waiting for him. Instead of hovering at Obi-Wan’s side like he normally does when Obi-Wan is injured, Anakin is leaning against the wall. His eyes are closed and his face is blank. Only when Obi-Wan stops in front of him do his eyes open. 

The two men regard each other silently. Anakin’s face is unreadable. Obi-Wan’s wide smile slips slowly off his face into a frown. Anakin doesn’t say anything. He harshly pushes off from the wall and brushes past Obi-Wan. He flinches then follows suit. Ahsoka turns the corner as they walk away from the halls. She halts when she sees Obi-Wan trailing Anakin. Mouth falling open in slack, as if she can’t believe it, even though she knew. Obi-Wan gives her half a grin. She stands still for a moment. 

Then she is flinging herself at him, grabbing onto him. Her fists bury themselves in his robes like if she doesn’t ground herself, she is going to slip away. Obi-Wan buries his head in her shoulder and grabs on just as tightly. Tears slip down his face and seep into her robes as her shoulders shake in his arms. Obi-Wan feels Anakin’s blank stare on him and tightens his grip. They sink to the floor, Ahsoka refusing to let him go. When she finally does, she keeps one hand on her shoulder. Her eyes are red-rimmed and she keeps wiping her nose. Obi-Wan sniffles and they both start to chuckle. They pretend not to notice the shadow towering over them as they reunite.

“I can’t believe you’re here, Master Obi-Wan! Skyguy and I…” she glances over her shoulder at the silhouetted Anakin. She swallows hard and turns back. “He didn’t once believe that you were gone. He never gave up on you.” 

Obi-Wan is listening intently, but his eyes are trained on Anakin. He can’t get a read on his former Padawan. It’s like… Understanding dawns and Obi-Wan struggles to contain his tears. It’s like Anakin doesn’t trust him anymore. Like Anakin is blocking him out. Anakin begins to walk away, writing on his arm as he goes. Obi-Wan watches his arm with bated breath. 

_I’ll be in our rooms. We need to talk._

_Ok_. 

He doesn’t know how else to respond. For the first time in a long time, the Negotiator is speechless. Honeyed phrases and liquid silver normally roll off his tongue as easily as breathing. But the lack of emotion coming from Anakin is oppressive. He didn’t realize how dependent he was on their emotional connection until it is being blocked. 

Ahsoka is still rambling on, the way she does when she’s nervous. But when she sees Obi-Wan’s face, she stops. She casts a worried look over her shoulder and then gets up, pulling Obi-Wan with her. Obi-Wan follows as she leads him through the Temple to one of the many hiding spots. They squeeze into the small room, closing the door. 

“You really did a number on him, Master.” Ahsoka’s voice is biting. 

Obi-Wan swallows hard. “How bad?” He already knows, he just… needs to hear her say it. 

Ahsoka’s eyes harden as she speaks. “He didn’t speak for two days. I could barely get him to eat. Master Edinn basically had to force feed him. When he got out of that slump… I never want to see him like that again. But what followed was worse. He became incoherent, Obi-Wan. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. Anakin Skywalker reduced to a hysterical shell of the hero he is. He wouldn’t stop crying. And when he wasn’t screaming, he was reliving that moment. Watching you fall. At night, he would have such terrible nightmares. I’d wake up to his screams. Nothing I could do would calm him down. When we located Har– er, you, he snapped out of it. It was like he was on autopilot. A machine. Then we found you. He found out you were alive. You should have heard the screaming match that happened when we got back. He called Master Windu a, and I’m quoting here, “decrepit excuse for a Hutt’s testicle” and Master Yoda the “back end of a bantha after it’s taken a shit.” I’ve never seen any of them turn the colors they did. I’m not doing it justice, but you get the idea.” Ahsoka smiles, fangs sharp, no light in her eyes. 

Obi-Wan drops his head to his chest and brings his hands up to the back of his head. “Ahsoka, I’m so sor–”

“No.” She interrupts. “You don’t need to apologize to me. I’m not your _Ankai’a_. He is. I understand. You were doing what you needed to do. It hurt like hell and I never want to feel anything like that again, but I understand. Anakin doesn’t. Go. It won’t be pretty, but it's necessary.”

“I know. Thank you.”

She nods and Obi-Wan leaves her there. He makes his way through the Temple, trying to ignore the mutterings of every Jedi he passes. 

“Wasn’t he dead?”

“They had a funeral for him and everything.”

“I heard that he stopped the Chancellor’s kidnapping. He’s a hero.”

_Hero_. A metallic taste fills his mouth. He’s no hero. He lost the right to be a hero the moment he let the most important person in his life down. 

The door to the chambers Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka share looks like a death sentence. Obi-Wan hesitates for a moment, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Then he enters. 

Anakin is lying under a pillow fort. 

Tears welling in his eyes, Obi-Wan walks over and kneels in front of Anakin. The boy’s eyes slowly open and he crawls out from under the pillow fort, standing to his full height. Obi-Wan stands as well.

“I uh… I built this right after the funeral. We always made them together and I thought… I thought I would be able to find you if I was reliving a cherished memory. I was foolish. I couldn’t find you because you didn’t want to be found.” He stops, eyes downcast. He is twisting his fingers together. 

“Anakin–”

Anakin’s eyes meet his and blue flashes to red. “You were DEAD, Obi-Wan. I held your body in my arms and I felt the life drain out of you. Do you have any idea what that’s like? To hold the man who raised you, who loved you, who made you into the person you are, fade in your arms? To cradle the key to your sanity and watch it crumble to dust as the light fades? Do you?” He takes a deep, shuddering breath, running his fingers through his hair. Obi-Wan watches in silence. 

Anakin begins to pace, tugging at his hair as he does. “You do understand in a way. I mean,” he scoffs, “You _did_ lose your master at the tender age of what, twenty-five? I felt everything you felt that day, the rage and the pain, the sorrow and the guilt. I didn’t… couldn’t understand. I do now. But at least you got to avenge your Master. I had to watch my Master, wearing the face of the man who killed him, escape into the endless void. And then I had to face the council who told me their usual load of Bathaa shit. ‘It’s for the good of the Republic.’ ‘Obi-Wan is going to save the Chancellor.’ ‘Trust in the Force.’ But you know what hurt most of all? Not the constant reminders of your absence, not the insistence of the council that we keep up this charade instead of helping you. No… what hurt most of all was that YOU were the one who suggested that I be kept in the dark!” Anakin is shouting now, storming towards Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan retreats until his back is pressed against the wall. 

“Imagine that, my _Ankai’a_ , the man who is supposed to share everything with me, the man whose heart beats in tandem with my own, choosing to keep me in the dark about events that could have drastic consequences on my sanity. Hmmm, what does that sound like? It sounds like _negligence_ to me.” Anakin’s face is two inches from Obi-Wan’s as he hisses out these sentences. Even as he rages, he is crying and so is Obi-Wan. “I trusted you, Obi-Wan. And I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”

Obi-Wan is silent, tears rolling down his face. He stares at Anakin. Anakin’s shoulders are drawn inwards, the bags under his eyes are more pronounced than ever. His chest heaves, desperately trying to breathe. 

“SAY SOMETHING!” Anakin slams his fist into the wall next to Obi-Wan’s face. He flinches, closing his eyes. Anakin’s anger and sadness are battering him from all sides. 

Obi-Wan takes a breath and searches his friend's face. “What do you want me to say?” Obi-Wan’s voice is barely above a whisper. 

“...That you regret it? That you missed me? That the council lied when they said that you were the one who suggested keeping me in the dark?” Anakin’s voice is strained. 

“Of course I regret it. I know that, had I been in your position, I would have been unable to function. But I thought…” His voice cracks.

“I should have told you. It was wrong of me, and I’m… I’m so very sorry.” Obi-Wan reaches up and cups Anakin’s cheek in his hand. Tears roll down Anakin’s face, wetting his hand. “ _Heleo._ ”

“I just wanted you back, Obi-Wan. It… I was so dark. You had been keeping me grounded. This war…” Anakin trails off, getting lost in memories. His hand comes up and rests on top of Obi-Wan’s. “I wish you trusted me.”

“I do! I trust you more than anyone. The only reason I kept you in the dark was to give off the appearance of reality. It had to look authentic.” 

“Then why didn’t anyone tell me it wasn’t real after the fact?” Anakin’s voice is gravelly. “As soon as we had you in custody, you could have given me a sign, something, ANYTHING to let me know that you were alive. I… I try not to be a burden. I try not to ask for much… surely you could have given me that.”

Obi-Wan’s breath hitches in his throat when Anakin implies he’s a burden. “You are not a burden. Never. Never think that. But Master Windu was adamant…”

“ _SYDEHV_ _! KARK MASTER WINDU!_ ” Anakin slips into Huttese for a moment, rattling off a string of expletives. 

“Anakin, we were just doing what we thought was best. The Chancellor agreed…”

“The _Chancellor_ agreed to your plan?” Anakin’s voice gets dangerously low. 

“Well… he… he didn’t know the specifics but…” Obi-Wan stammers. Anakin’s fists clench. He pushes off the wall and begins pacing. His shields have returned to their normal state so Obi-Wan can feel betrayal, anger. “You must understand that we thought this was the best course of action.”

“Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly.” Anakin’s voice is calm and steady, with something underlying it that Obi-Wan can’t quite pinpoint. Obi-Wan can’t get a read on him anymore. “You were doing your duty.” 

He stops pacing and stares at the floor. Obi-Wan hesitantly walks forward and places a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “I want you to know that I will never, NEVER do anything like this again. I mean it. There will be no secrets between us anymore. I promise.” 

“No more secrets. No more lies.” Then Anakin is hugging him, murmuring sweet nothings in his ear. 

Obi-Wan knows they are both lying. Obi-Wan is not keeping any secrets from Anakin at the moment. But he knows Anakin is. Anakin hasn’t been the same since Geonosis, since Mortis. There is something dark crawling under his skin, poisoning him. Obi-Wan can feel it. But Anakin is in a fragile mindset right now. If Obi-Wan brings this up, he knows that Anakin will take it as a personal attack. He has to build trust up again. To convince Anakin and himself that he is trustworthy. 

Anakin’s body is reassuring and Obi-Wan relaxes against it. He gathers fabric in his fists and holds on like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. And, in a way, it is. They stay like this until the sun sets and Ahsoka comes back for the night. She comes in quietly and sees their embrace. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan sense her presence and they let go of each other to welcome her in. They enclose Ahsoka in the center of their embrace. Ahsoka’s shoulders shake slightly. Tears stream down Anakin’s face. Obi-Wan’s eyes fill with tears. Together, they sink to the floor and fall asleep holding each other. A broken found family. 

Nothing is ever the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna leave this here. Feel free to yell at me, I deserve it. 
> 
> https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To be one half on an Ankai'a pair is a blessing and a curse. The spiraling, beautiful connection Obi-Wan and Anakin share has been Obi-Wan's rock since he knew it existed. Anakin and Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan and Anakin. Where one ends, the other begins. Together in life and together in love. Every heartbreak, every joy, every fear magnified. One cannot exist without the other. For what is the point of living when there is an all consuming black hole in your chest where your soulmate once lived? How do you cope with the loneliness? How do you find your identity again, when for half of your life, it revolved around a small flame who made the galaxy and your life that much sweeter?
> 
> Obi-Wan Kenobi is 38.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for what you are about to read. I did not expect to end up here, as I mentioned in the first chapter. I thought this was going to be a fun, quick one shot and then it grew into this beautiful, monstrous fic. As it grew, I realized that this is the only way I could see it ending. Writing these last 3 chapters knowing that it was going to end the way it does was really difficult. I hope you enjoyed it, at least a little bit. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading. 
> 
> Best wishes from your humble host, Vox.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 38 when the Force cries out in agony as millions of minds lose their freedom. 

The Force, that spiraling, beautiful web of life and death, stills. Then in an expression of sheer devastation, it screams. It screams, writhing as the free will of millions of its children are consumed. The Force screams, sinking into Obi-Wan’s cells and mind. His body shudders, and he doubles over, retching. Then it is quiet. The Force, so vibrant and full of life, is still. The interlocking web of minds and hearts that Obi-Wan has called his home for so long is motionless. Something is very wrong. 

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 38 when his clone brothers turn on him and try to terminate him. 

He is in the middle of battle. Death surrounds him and the Force is still motionless. He is in the heat of battle and he has no time to think. He reacts. He and his varactyl, Boda, whom he is riding, dash up the cliff face. Something is very wrong. They are halfway up the cliff face when an explosion shatters the path ahead of him. Boda loses her footing. She shrieks and they are falling. Obi-Wan feels a hint of panic. The bolts that are whizzing by his free-falling form are… blue. Why are they blue? 

_Cody, what are you doing?_

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 38 when his Force bond with his _Ankai’a_ shatters beyond repair. 

He is falling. Air and rock rush by him as he floats. The ground comes up to meet him. Boga flails beside him, searching for ground that is not there. He knows that he will be okay. He can catch himself and use the Force to break his fall. 

Then his head erupts in cold fire. The air leaves his lungs all at once. Stars dance in front of his eyes. For a moment, he sees Anakin, kneeling, his face wet with tears. The bond between Anakin and Obi-Wan grows taut. It hums, desperately trying to keep together, to connect the two men as they were meant to be. Slowly, cracks appear. This is different though. Obi-Wan’s bond with Anakin has been broken before. There is something else breaking. Not… fully. But as the training bond between Master and Padawan splinters into sharp fragments that cut his mind and heart, their soulmate bond cracks. 

Obi-Wan, still falling, screams. It ricochets through the air, accompanied by a massive surge of Force energy as it reacts to the agony of its child. He curls into a ball. He’s barely aware of anything except the massive hole in his chest where Anakin’s flame used to flicker. He does manage to cushion Boga’s fall, but doesn’t bother to look after himself. He can’t bear to have another creature he cares about die, not after everything… 

Obi-Wan hits the water below with a massive splash. He doesn’t try to float. How can he? He’s been betrayed in every sense of the word. He just sinks. But he doesn’t die. Boda takes him gently in her maw and pulls him out, slinking into the shadows. She props him up against the wall and he clutches his stomach, gasping for air. 

Eventually, he gathers himself. He rifles through his pockets, finding the pen he has carried since Geonosis. He fumbles. His vision blurs. He shakes his head. The world comes back into focus. He uncaps the pen and scribbles out a message. 

_Anakin, why?_

_The Jedi are a plague upon this galaxy. I am going to fix it. It will be better. I promise. Come with me! We can do it together, Obi-Wan!_

Obi-Wan trembles as the words appear. Instead of the warmth and comfort that normally accompanies it, the sensation is bone-chilling. It is the depths of the ocean, the surface of Hoth, the interior of a black hole. Icy, unforgiving, and alien. Anakin really believes that the Jedi are a plague. He… He is going to do something terrible, Obi-Wan can feel it. He barely notices he’s crying until tears hit his skin. He is aware of a sudden weight on his chest. He frantically gropes under his tunic until he feels the shape of the necklace he has worn for thirteen years under his robes. Pulling it out, he looks at it, running his fingers over the grooves of the carving and the smooth wood where Anakin’s name has been worn away by years of use. A large fissure threatens to spread across the surface of it. Almost as if the amulet was reacting to Obi-Wan’s loss. Grasping it, he curls into a ball and sobs. But he doesn’t have long to mourn. He hears footsteps and muffled voices shouting orders coming his way. Obi-Wan wipes his face and limps over to Boga, who allows him to get on her back. Together, they dart into the shadows. 

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 38 when he leaves Anakin Skywalker to die on Mustafar. 

Obi-Wan stands over the smoking body of his Ankai’a. What is left of the boy’s legs are scarily close to the lava. Vader tries desperately to claw his way away from the lava. The same lava into which Vader had hurled one half of the necklace pair that Anakin had made for the two of them. Obi-Wan feels his half sticking to his skin, one of the last remnants of Anakin he has left. 

“YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE. IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THE SITH, NOT JOIN THEM. BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE, NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS.” 

Obi-Wan’s tears evaporate as they fall. 

Vader’s eyes bore into his, red and gold instead of the calming lake blue of Anakin. 

“I HATE YOU!” Vader snarls, voice as fiery as the lava towards which he slips. They contain a promise. Vengeance. 

Obi-Wan backs away. His heart has been broken so many times in the past 12 hours. But hearing that? Every fiber of his brain screams at this twisted perversion of Ana— no, this is not Anakin. Vision swimming, his body shakes as he turns and walks away, scooping up Anakin’s lightsaber. Then he hesitates and turns back. 

“YOU WERE MY BROTHER, ANAKIN. I LOVED YOU.” 

He stumbles away, trying to convince himself that Anakin is dead. Because surely that would hurt less than this. Surely it would hurt less than knowing that his reason for being, the boy who has been with him since he was 16, hates him. He walks away, trying to ignore the screams that would haunt his being for the rest of his life. 

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 38 when the words he writes on his skin receive no reply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are folks. The end. I hope you liked my fic. I put a lot of effort into it and there were many tears. Obi-Wan and Anakin are always a joy to write (I say as I post this knowing full well this is the first full length fic featuring my favorite idiots). 
> 
> Again, a thousand thanks to my beta reader, the delightful @bigbidumbass. This was made infinitely better with their encouragement and comments. All credit for the Dai Bendu goes to the people on the Dai Bendu Tumblr (linked in chapter 1). [If any of you are reading this and spot a horrible grammar error, please tell me so I can fix it!] 
> 
> Happy Soulmate Month, everyone! 
> 
> https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you like what you see, come tell me! You can find me on Tumblr here (little Star Wars drabbles mostly, found under the tag mango drabbles if you're interested): 
> 
> https://ct-1500-mango.tumblr.com/


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